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Sailor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I saw a pirate finally purchase Adobe Photoshop.
He handed the cashier a hook and a peg.

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Sailor Jokes

Why did the pirate have a fат girlfriend?
Real women have (s)curv(y)
... Yeah it's a bit of a stretch

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Sailor Jokes

The best pirate joke(in your best pirate voice): What is a pirates favorite letter?
Every body says its the "R" but it is actually the "C."

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Sailor Jokes

How do you pirate in French?
*Poirot*

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Sailor Jokes

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sеx with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

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Sailor Jokes Vagina Jokes

I heard this one from an old sailor
A girl walks into her trailer and says,
"Pa! I need to borrow the tractor to go up to the store and buy me some cigarettes."
Her Pa says,
"Alright, but you gonna have to work for it."
"What do I have to do," asked the girl. "You gonna have to вlоw me if you want that tractor."
"Alright Pa," says the girl.
The girl starts suскing her Pa's diск. A second later she say, "Ew Pa, your diск taste like shiт!"
Her Pa replies,
"Sorry, your brother borrowed the tractor this morning."

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Office and Work Jokes Redneck jokes Sailor Jokes

Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the marines? No. Well I have. The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!

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Sailor Jokes

An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana and he wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"
The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Marines who were in here earlier saying the same thing." So the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day and a few hours later came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "those must be the two Marines the guy in town was talking about." Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines. Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort. Then both Marines dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures. One of the Marines then exclaimed,
"Dамn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"

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Military Jokes Sailor Jokes

What is a pirate's favorite part of music theory?
Arrrr-peggios!

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Music and Musician Jokes Sailor Jokes Pirate Jokes