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Вицове за училището School Jokes Schulwitze Chistes de la escuela Анекдоты про школу Blagues sur l'école Barzellette sulla scuola Ανέκδοτα για το σχολείο Вицеви за училиштето Okul fıkraları Жарти про школу Piadas sobre a escola Dowcipy o szkole Skolvitsar School Moppen Skolevittigheder Skolevitser Koululaisvitsit Iskolai viccek Glume despre școală Vtipy o škole Mokykliniai anekdotai Joki par skolu un skolēniem Vicevi o školi
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School Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Boy:
But ваве, I'm not ready to meet your family yet
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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Insult Jokes
"dude that song is so old."
"i'm sorry, i didn't know music had an expiration date. what about your mom, she's old, but you still listen to her."
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
me: вiтсh please, i could wipe ur beauty off with a tissue.
girl: go ahead then
me: get me one from ur bra
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
Dоuсhе: My diск comes with a choking hazard warning.
Girl: Don't they only put that on small objects?
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
Dad: Can you go get me a drink?
Kid: Cola or Pepsi?
Dad: Cola.
Kid: Normal or dietary?
Dad: Normal.
Kid: Bottle or Can?
Dad: Bottle! /:
Kid: 1L or 0.5L?
Dad: Sсrеw it, just buy me a water!
Kid: Normal or carbonated?
Dad: NORMAL!
Kid: Warm or cold?
Dad: Get out! Kid: Now or later?
Dad: I'm going to кill you !
Kid: Knife or gun?
Dad: Gun!
Kid: In the head or body?
Dad: EFF THIS!
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School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Dad Jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes
Oh your spreading rumours about me?
It's nice to know you have a hobby spreading things other than your legs.
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
Keep rolling your eyes. Who knows, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
Teacher: I am beautiful. What tense is this?
Me: Past tense obviously.
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Ψέμα ήτανε Une maîtresse demande à ses élèves: Учителката ги прашува учениците; Im Grammatikunterricht versucht die Lehrerin den Schülern durch Beispiele die Zeiten zu erläutern. Lehrerin: "Wenn ich sage ich bin schön, welche Zeit ist das?" Ein vorwitziger Schüler antwortet: "Vergangenheit!" La maestra le dice a los alumnos, "Chicos si yo digo fui rica es tiempo pasado, y si digo soy hermosa, ¿que es?" Jaimito se levanta y responde, "Tiempo perdido, maestra." An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past." A professora explica os tempos verbais: - Se eu digo "Eu fui bonita", a frase está no passado. E se eu disser "Eu sou bonita"? Joãozinho prontamente responde: - É mentira! Jantje zit in de klas en zit te dromen. Hij kijkt naar buiten en opeens valt hij in slaap, dan word hij wakker een staat een woendende juf voor hem die ze de franse buldogg noeman vanwegge haar... Teacher says to class, “OK class, today we’re going to be talking about the tenses. Now if I say I’m beautiful, which tense is it?” Little Johnny raises his hand, “Obviously it is the past tense... Учителька: — Послухай, Сергійку, якщо я скажу. "Я красива", — який це час? — Минулий, Валентино Василівно. Okulda birgün Türkçe öğretmeni zaman kiplerini işliyor ve öğrencilerine bir soru soruyor : - Çocuklar -ben güzelim- dersem hangi zamana girer bu cümlem? Çocuklar hep bir ağızdan : - Geçmiş zaman... Une grand-mère demande à sa petite fille : - Quand je dis : "Je suis belle", à quel temps est-ce conjugué? - C'est sûrement au passé, mamie! - Jasiu, jeśli powiem: "Jestem piękna", to jaki to czas? - Czas przeszły, proszę pani!
School Jokes Insult Jokes
Teacher: Can you explain why you failed the test?
Me: Can you explain me why you fail to educate?
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
You remind me of a penny, two faced and f*cking worthless!
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later the idiот is still in your driveway trying to back out.
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes School Jokes Math Jokes
Ennie meanie miney mo,
you're nothing but a hое,
you think your cute, you think your classy,
reality check your just тrаshy.
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
Roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty, What the Fu** happened to you?
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School Jokes Insult Jokes God Jokes
Тeacher: were is your homework ?
Me: its at home.
Teacher: and whats it doing there ?
Me: well obviously having more fun than me...
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
So this аsshоlе in a nightclub came up to me and said, "I get 50 times more girls than you do, haha."
I replied, "50 x 0 = 0."
That shut the fuскеr up.
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School Jokes Insult Jokes
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one.
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School Jokes One-Liner Jokes
Yo Momma's so fат that when she put on a yellow shirt a kid yelled," Hey! there's the school bus!"
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Yo Momma Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Fat Jokes
Student: "would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?"
Teacher: "Of course not."
Student: "Good cause, I didn't do my homework..."
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Η ΜΑΘΗΤΡΙΑ ΣΤΗΝ ΔΑΣΚΑΛΑ Η τιμωρία..... - Кажи Иванчо? Учителката само што влегува на час, а Зоки Поки веднаш крева рака. Иванчо към учителката: Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?” Toto se plaint à un ami, Pierino: "Signora maestra si puo' punire uno per una cosa che non ha fatto?". Un alunno di 5° elementare si alza in piedi non appena entra la maestra e le chiede: One day a boy came home running while crying. "Herr Lehrer," fragt Fritzchen den Klassenlehrer. "kann man für etwas bestraft werden, was man nicht getan hat?" PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I did not do?" TEACHER:" Of course not." PUPIL: "Good, because I haven't done my homework." "Kann man für etwas bestraft werden was man gar nicht gemacht hat?", fragt Fritz den Lehrer. Lehrer antwortet: "Nein kann man nicht." Fritz: "Gut, ich hab nämlich meine Hausaufgabe nicht gemacht!" C'est une conversation entre une maîtresse d'école et Toto : Toto : - Madame, madame, est-ce que je peux être puni pour quelque chose que je n'ai pas fait ? La maîtresse : - Mais bien sur que non Toto, on ne va pas te punir pour quelque chose que tu n'as pas fait. Toto : - Eh bien, ça va alors...... Sınıfa yeni gelen öğrenci ikinci gün öğretmenine sorar " Öğretmenim insana yapmadığı bir şey için ceza verir misiniz ?" Öğretmeni "olur mu öyle şey evladım neden insana yapmadığı bir şey için ceza... Ma mère m'a puni pour une chose que je n'ai même pas faite. - Ah oui ! Pour quoi ? - Mes devoirs. Girl: “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” Mother: “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you... - Fröken kan man få skäll för något man inte har gjort? - Nej, varför undrar du det Pelle? - Jag har inte gjort läxan! Det var en pojke som frågade sin fröken: - Fröken, kan man få skäll för nåt man inte har gort? - Nej, sa fröken. - Bra, för jag har inte gjort läxan!!! Joãozinho chega para a professora e pergunta: — Professora, alguém pode ser culpado por alguma coisa que não fez? — Mas é claro que não, Joãozinho! — Ufa! Eu não fiz o dever de casa. Jantje zat in de klas en vroeg aan de meester: "Meester, word je gestraft voor iets dat je niet gedaan hebt?" Waarop de meester antwoordde: "Natuurlijk niet Jantje, als je niets gedaan hebt, waarom... Hr. lærer, man må ikke straffe nogen, der ikke har lavet noget, vel, hr. lærer? Selvfølgelig ikke, Brian. Hvorfor kommer du dog på det? For jeg har ikke lavet min regneopgave! – Frøken, kan man bli straffet for noe man ikke har gjort? – Nei, Petter, det kan man ikke. – Puh, det var flaks, jeg har nemlig ikke gjort leksene. Toto arrive gentillement et dit à sa maitresse: - Est ce qu'on peut punir une personne pour quelque chose qu'il na pas fait madame? - Ho non pas dutout c'est de l'injustice, c'est de la mechanceté... Na začátku hodiny se přihlásil Pepíček: „Paní učitelko, mohu být potrestán za něco, co jsem neudělal?” „No, to v žádném případě, Pepíčku.” „Tak to mi spadl kámen ze srdce - já jsem totiž neudělal... - Apu, meg lehet büntetni valakit azért, amit nem csinált? - Nem, kisfiam. Mit nem csináltál? - Házi feladatot... En el colegio: - Señorita profesora, ¿verdad que no se debe castigar a un niño por una cosa que no haya hecho? - No, claro que no. - Estupendo, no he hecho los deberes. Toto demande à se maîtresse : - Madame ! Est-ce que c'est normal si je suis puni pour quelque chose que je n'ai pas fait ? - Bien sûr que non ! On ne peut pas te punir pour quelque chose que n'as... Ali o günkü derslerini hazırlamamıştı. Sınıfa öğretmenin girdiğini görünce parmağını kaldırır ve: - Öğretmenim bir insana yapmadığı bir şey için ceza verilir mi? - Verilmez oğlum. - O halde ben... Eleven till läraren: - Kan man få skäll för något man inte gjort ? Läraren: - Nej. Eleven: - Bra, för jag har inte gjort läxan ! Jantje vraagt aan de leraar: "Meneer, kan iemand ook gestraft worden voor iets wat dat hij niet gedaan heeft?" Leraar: "Nee, dat is niet eerlijk. Maar waarom vraag je dat?" Jantje: "Ik heb mijn... PepitO le dice a su profesora: Profe usted me castigaria por algo q yo nom ice...?¿ Y la profesora, con sierta risa le dice: No Pepito como crees que te voy a castigar por algo que no iciste... Y... Llega pepito a donde su maestra: - Maestra, ¿usted castigaria a un niño que no ha hecho nada? - Pues, no, no tendria porque hacerlo. ¿Pero porque preguntas Pepito? - Por nada, ahora sencillamente... Küçük kız okuldan gelir ve annesine: - Annecim,bugün okulda yapmadığım bir şey yüzünden cezalandırıldım. Annesi yüksek sesle: - Ama, bu nasıl olur? Okula gelip öğretmeninle bu konu hakkında...
School Jokes Insult Jokes
Q) Why do witches wear name tags? A) So they will know which witch is which.
Q) What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? A) Broom-mates
Q) What is a little witch's favorite subject in school? A) Spell-ing
Q) How does a witch tell time? A) She looks at her witch-watch.
Q) Why did the witch give up fortune telling? A) Because there was no future in it.
Q) What is the difference between a witch and the letters ";M, A, K, E, S?" A) One makes spells and the other spells "makes."
Q) What did the witch serve her friends who dropped in at dinner time? A) Potluck
Q) How do you make a witch itch? A) Take away the "w."
Q) Why is a witch's face like a million dollars? A) It's green and wrinkly.
Q) What do witches use on their hair? A) Scare spray.
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Halloween Jokes School Jokes
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS СНRISТ!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ****!"
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Little Johnny Jokes Religion jokes School Jokes God Jokes
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