Science jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. …
…
You understand it better, but it dies in the process.

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Science jokes

I sometimes think of how much I miss my happy days at school: forcing new pupils’ heads down the toilet and flushing it; ваnging on classroom doors in the science block to get chased by the teachers; having a sneaky fаg round the back of the bike sheds; and, of course, queueing with the rest of the lads to get a вlоw job from Nikki ‘big тiтs’ of the sixth form.
I loved that caretaker’s job.

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School Jokes Science jokes Boob Jokes

I was planning to donate my body to science, but then I realised science has plenty of bodies already.
So now I’m donating my brain to religion instead.

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Religion jokes Science jokes

The new expensive Apple Watch has health sensors.
Sadly it doesn’t come with common senses for the buyer.

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Science jokes

“iPad is thin. iPad is beautiful.”
My laptop developed an eating disorder because of that advert.

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Science jokes

I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week.
Actually, it’s turning 38.
It just looks 25.

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Science jokes

A British company is developing computer сhiрs that store music in women’s вrеаsт implants.
A company spokesperson declares this a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their вrеаsтs without listening to them.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Science jokes

A dog is so smart that his master decides to send him to college.
Home for vacation, his master asks him how college is going.
"Well," says the dog, "I'm not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages."
"Really?" says the master. "Say something in a foreign language."
The dog says,
"Meow!"

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Animal Jokes Science jokes Math Jokes

Why was Mickey Mouse in space?
Why else, he was looking for Pluto.

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Science jokes

Wife calls her scientist husband…
“Honey.. Its Saturday.. you’re late…” …
“I’m busy with my team in an experiment” ….
“Whats that?” …
“We’ve just added a derivative of C2H5OH with CO2 dissolved in ambient temperature H2O. To cool this mixture, added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while we wait for some protein, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine… It’s 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late.” …
“Oh dear.. I won’t disturb you. Take your time..” …….
….
Explaining a joke takes the air out of it, but this one time, I will help you. … derivative of C2H5OH = alcohol; CO2 dissolved in ambient temperature H2O is the carbonated water you find in вееr; …. cooled with super low temperature, solidified H2O, = ice; protein = waiting for meat, cheese delivery; pizza maybe? …. fumigating the lab = smoking.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Science jokes

Originally DNA research was expected to follow a progressive, orderly path …
…
But things spiraled of control

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Science jokes

Scientists have discovered that the first known animals to reproduce sexually were an early species of fish.
And the smell remains to this day.

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Animal Jokes Science jokes

What compound is made by 2 urea proteins found in urinе?
Di-urea.

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Science jokes

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent?
The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

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Jokes about Women Science jokes

Are you made of gold, titanium, sulphur and carbon?
Because you are AuTiSTiC.

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Science jokes

A Mitochondrion walks into a bar and asks for some energy.
The barman says:
"That'll be 80p!"

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Science jokes

Darnit! The hour we lose this weekend as we “spring forward,” was the hour when I was planning to go to the gym.

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Science jokes

One day the esophagus asked the saliva what its name was.
"I'm too embarrassed to say," said the saliva.
"Come on," said the esophagus.
"Fine. My name's Amy, Amylase."

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Science jokes

After a million years of human evolution, man has reached a point where he is now stupider than his telephone.

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Men jokes Science jokes

Far-Reaching research has determined the Average Distribution of Вrеаsт Sizes: ….
…..
AA cup: 2% ….
A cup: 15% ….
B cup: 44% ….
C cup: 28% ….
D cup: 10% ….
DD cup: 1% ….
If memory serves me right, the research was done by the renown University: Carnegie Melon University in Pennsylvania.

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Science jokes