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Science jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair?

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Science jokes

Dr. Boudreaux was performing a science experiment on a common insect, the flea. He proceeded to carefully remove one leg from the flea on which he was working. Then he shouted, "Jump!", and the flea jumped. He recorded his findings as such, "flea can jump with one leg removed."
Then he carefully removed a second leg and said,
"Jump!" Again the flea jumped with no problem and he recorded the findings. He continued the experiment one leg at a time until all the legs had been removed. The flea, now legless, sat motionless when ordered to jump.
"Hmmm, very interesting," Dr. Boudreaux commented. Then he recorded his findings..."When all the legs have been removed from a flea, he can't hear anything."

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Office and Work Jokes Science jokes

I drank so much I'm donating my liver to science fiction.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Science jokes

- No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.
- If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate in the terminal.
- If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.
- Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.
- If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence just as soon as you touch pen to paper.
- Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the washroom.
- The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.
- The best looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.
- The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Science jokes

There were three astronauts, a Russian, an American, and a Not-So-Bright American.
The Russian says we were the first in space. The American says we were the first on the Moon. The Not-So-Bright American says I will be the first to land on the sun.
The other two look at her and say, "The sun! Wont you burn up?"
She says,
"Well duh! We are going to land on it at night."

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Science jokes

A computer science major goes to his English professor and says "I've found a fault in the English language and I need an entomologist."
"Don't you mean an etymologist?" the teacher asks.
"No," the student replies. "It's a bug, not a feature."

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School Jokes Science jokes

Joke from my science teacher years ago...
Why should you never wear Russian nuclear underwear?
Because Chernob'll Fallout.

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School Jokes Science jokes

My science teacher asked me if I liked sodium
I said “Na.”

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School Jokes Science jokes

So my science teacher began her astronomy unit with star formation
She gave a stellar explanation.

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School Jokes Science jokes

Mugger: Give me all your stuff or you're science!
Me: Don't you mean history?
Mugger: Don't try to change the subject!

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Science jokes

The first day of school I signed up for English, Math, Science and Language.
The rest, as they say, was History.

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Science jokes Math Jokes

I don't care for computer science.
Not one bit.

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Science jokes

What do you call a nap in computer science class?
A CS-ta

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Science jokes

Why did the computer science student drop out?
He just couldn't hack it.

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Science jokes

Where can you find the best view of scenery
In space. It will leave you breathless and speechless
Hope this one hits science geeks hard

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Science jokes

The Higgs Воsом Particle (xpost from /r/science)
The Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church, and the priest says to him, "sorry, we don't allow Higgs bosons here." The Higgs boson replies,
"But without me, you can't have mass!"

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Science jokes

My health science teacher told me to write a 1,000 word essay on drugs
The paper became a taco and the floor was melting.

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Science jokes

There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science
0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors

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Science jokes

What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other?
Cyber boolean

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Science jokes

I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance.
Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.

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Science jokes