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Science jokes

Newest jokes in this category
So my science teacher asked what kind of beetle can swim the best so I replied Paul of course, after all he is the walrus.
Coo coo ca chu
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Science jokes
None of my friends seemed very impressed when I told them I hooked up with my high school science teacher.
I swear it is so much harder trying to fit in when you are homeschooled.
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Science jokes
I'm not saying my acne was bad at school, but when one boy asked the science teacher how many planets there were in the galaxy...
The teacher said,
"Less than there are on his face."
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Science jokes
I don't have any good science related jokes to tell
Because most of the good jokes argon
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Science jokes
Why is faith greater than science?
Science made buildings and planes but faith brought them together.
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Science jokes
The astrophysics class I wanted to take filled up. Now I need to figure out what other course will work for my schedule and major.
It's not rocket science.
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Science jokes
Logic says the sсrеw I dropped should be somewhere by my feet, but science says it’s under the couch in the other room.
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Science jokes
A neutrino walks into a bar ... and keeps going!!
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Science jokes
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.
Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.
“It’s very brave of you to come out here,” says Matthew. “Please tell the audience what happened.”
“Well,” replies Simon, “about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn’t save my legs.”
“That’s terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?” asks Matthew.
“No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful.
“I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year.”
A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.
Kelly responds with:
“That’s an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?”
“Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half-uncle.”
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes
Mercury has a harsh climate, as the day time temperature is 430 degrees Celcius. At night however, it freezes to -170 degrees Celcius.
First world problems.
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Science jokes
Raphael is in biology class. Each student is dissecting a cockroach. He cuts off one leg, and says, “walk,” …
It walks. …
…
He cuts off the 2nd and 3rd legs and says, “walk,” …
It walks. …
He cuts off all the remaining legs and says, “walk….”
The cockroach doesn’t move.
Finally, Raphael writes his conclusion……
“After all the legs of a cockroach are cut off - it becomes deaf.”
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School Jokes Science jokes
It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
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Science jokes
Two men (a Russian and an American) were talking about their countries' accomplishments.
The Russian says,
"We were the first to go into Space."
The American replies,
"Well, we were the first to land on the moon."
Sick of their arrogance, another man comes over and says,
"Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna be the first one on the Sun!"
The Russian and American both laugh saying, "You can't go to the Sun. It's too hot. You'll burn up"
The man confidently replies,
"I'm not an idiот. I'll just go at night!"
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Men jokes Science jokes American Jokes
Do you want to hear an uplifting Helium joke?
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Science jokes
Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass.
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Religion jokes Science jokes
Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.
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Animal Jokes Science jokes
The new iPhone’s are out and some are complaining that their phones are bending.
Here’s an idea. If your phone bends too much, wrap it around your wrist and tell people it’s the Apple Watch.
You’ll be the first one to have it.
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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
I saw that new advert for Pizza Hut today that said “Now, order with your iPhone.”
Question… Couldn’t you always order with your iPhone, seeing as it is, in fact, a phone?
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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
Do you want to know how often I say element jokes? Periodically.
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Science jokes
Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A:
"Annex" marks the spot.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Pirate Jokes
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