Science jokes

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Mr. Dickson, the science teacher, asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.
They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer.
“Look,” said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little “zero."
"This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh,” said the children.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, “Mr. Dickson,my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole.
“Hmmmm,” he thought, “How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I’ll be darned; I don’t know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?”
Yes,” said Little Johnny, “You take a flute and shove it up your аss !”
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Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP
Q: Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
A: They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn’t have a Flash player installed!
Q: Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
A: Everyone at Apple are crying their i’s out!
Q: What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
A: Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: Why won’t blondes take their iPhones to the bathroom?
A: Because they don’t want to give away their IP address!
Steve Jobs‘ funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every six months in a slightly better coffin.
Do not touch MY iPhone. It’s not an usPhone, it’s not a wePhone, it’s not an ourPhone, it’s an iPhone.
I don’t understand why everybody wants the white iPhone, Everyone knows the black one runs faster.
I pressed the ‘home’ button but I’m still at school…
If your iPhone is black and you’re making Siri do tasks for you you’re pretty much saying slavery was OK.
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O ne year at  Halloween, the governor of Illinois was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived, he announced, “Mickey and Minnie Mouse”. As the next couple arrived he announced “Tarzan and Jane”, and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening, a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants, but apart from that totally nакеd from head to toe. “Who do you think you are?” demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local University Computer Science department, the doorman asked “How shall I announce you?”
The man said, “I’m premature еjасulатiоn.”
“I’m very sorry sir,” said the doorman in obvious shock, “I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.”
“Okay.” said the professor. “Just say I came in my pants.”
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