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Sports Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
A fisherman accidentally left his day’s catch under the seat of a bus. The next evening’s newspaper carried an ad:
“If the person who left a bucket of fish on the No. 47 bus would care to come to the garage, he can have the bus.”
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Sports Jokes
What do you call a guy with no legs and no arms water skiing?
Skipper.
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Sports Jokes
Alex was teeing off from the back tees. On his downswing he suddenly realized that his wife, Mary, was about to tee off from the red tees directly in his path. Unable to stop his downswing he nailed the ball, hit Mary directly in the right temple killing her instantly.
A few days later Alex received a call from the coroner concerning her autopsy. “Alex, your wife seems to have died from blunt force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and struck her in the temple. Is that correct?”
“Yes sir,” Alex replied, “that’s correct.”
“Well, Alex , I also found a large bruise on Mary’s right hip. Do you know anything about that?”
“Yes sir,” Alex said, “That would have been my mulligan.”
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Sports Jokes
Today I turned on the television and saw commercials...
Every now and then they were interrupted by some Olympics coverage.
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Sports Jokes
Are you my caddie? asked the golfer.
"Yes, sir," replied the lad.
"And you are good at finding lost ваlls?"
"Yes, sir."
"Right then. Find one and let's star the game."
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Sports Jokes
Tony Verna, Inventor of TV Instant Replay for Live Sports has died at Age 81
His funeral is on at 11.30, then 12.30 and for those who missed it, 1.30.
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Sports Jokes Sick and Death Jokes
Comedy Central have just secured the rights to show all of Manchester United’s football matches.
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Sports Jokes
My bother is a professional boxer.”
“Heavyweight?”
“No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death.”
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Sports Jokes
4 baseball fans want to show their teams that they're each the biggest fans in the world, so they decide to climb the biggest mountain they can find. The first one to the top is a Braves fаn, and he says,
"I'm the biggest fаn in the world! This is for you Braves!" and he jumps off. The second one to the top is a Mets fаn and he says,
"I love you more than anything Mets, this is for you!" and he jumps off. The last 2 people who get to the top get there at the same time. One is a Red Sox fаn and one is a Yankee fаn. When they're both standing at the top together, the Red Sox fаn says,
"This one is for all baseball fans everywhere!" And the Red Sox fаn pushes the Yankee fаn off.
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Sports Jokes
Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces? For the chance to gain some experience in the service.
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Sports Jokes
These Chinese football club transfer fees are getting way out of hand.
Shangai Shenhau FC have just offered Manchester United £80m for referee Mike Dean.
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Sports Jokes
My mate threw a ‘football themed’ party last night.
I showed up in shirt and jeans.
“What have you come as?” he asked.
“John Terry” I replied.
“What? You look nothing like him” he replied, as his wife got out of my car, pulling her knickers up.
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Sports Jokes
You might not be a Bulls fаn, but I know you felt it when this D rose.
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Sports Jokes
Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?
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Because love means nothing to them.
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Sports Jokes
Did you hear about the professional golfer who got arrested for assaulting his chauffeur?
All he did was take out his driver.
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Sports Jokes
My Wife got injured during a football match last Saturday.
She tried turning Match Of The Day over.
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Sports Jokes
When I first entered Olympic Training, I used to have a fear of hurdles…
But I got over it.
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Sports Jokes
You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third… but I touched second.
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Sports Jokes
1. What does the average Iowa player get on his SAT’s?
Drool.
2. What do you get when you put 32 Alabama cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
3. How do you get a GA Tech cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hеll.
4. How do you get a Michigan State graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
5. Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
6. Why do they no put ice in the drinks at Wisconsin football games?
The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
7. Why is the Indiana football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.
8. What are the longest three years of a Michigan football player’s life?
His freshman year.
9. Why did Kansas State replace natural grass with Astroturf?
To discourage the cheerleaders from grazing during games.
10. How many Ohio State freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None…That’s a sophomore course at OSU.
11. Why did O. J. want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone there has the same DNA.
12. Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash the rest of the week.
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Sports Jokes
Since Rio de Janeiro is south of the equator, aren’t we technically watching the Winter Olympics?
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Sports Jokes
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