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Sports Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Tony Verna, Inventor of TV Instant Replay for Live Sports has died at Age 81
His funeral is on at 11.30, then 12.30 and for those who missed it, 1.30.

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Sports Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Comedy Central have just secured the rights to show all of Manchester United’s football matches.

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Sports Jokes

My bother is a professional boxer.”
“Heavyweight?”
“No, featherweight. He tickles his opponents to death.”

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Sports Jokes

4 baseball fans want to show their teams that they're each the biggest fans in the world, so they decide to climb the biggest mountain they can find. The first one to the top is a Braves fаn, and he says,
"I'm the biggest fаn in the world! This is for you Braves!" and he jumps off. The second one to the top is a Mets fаn and he says,
"I love you more than anything Mets, this is for you!" and he jumps off. The last 2 people who get to the top get there at the same time. One is a Red Sox fаn and one is a Yankee fаn. When they're both standing at the top together, the Red Sox fаn says,
"This one is for all baseball fans everywhere!" And the Red Sox fаn pushes the Yankee fаn off.

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Sports Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces? For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

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Sports Jokes

These Chinese football club transfer fees are getting way out of hand.
Shangai Shenhau FC have just offered Manchester United £80m for referee Mike Dean.

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Sports Jokes

My mate threw a ‘football themed’ party last night.
I showed up in shirt and jeans.
“What have you come as?” he asked.
“John Terry” I replied.
“What? You look nothing like him” he replied, as his wife got out of my car, pulling her knickers up.

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Sports Jokes

You might not be a Bulls fаn, but I know you felt it when this D rose.

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Sports Jokes

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?
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Because love means nothing to them.

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Sports Jokes

Did you hear about the professional golfer who got arrested for assaulting his chauffeur?
All he did was take out his driver.

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Sports Jokes

My Wife got injured during a football match last Saturday.
She tried turning Match Of The Day over.

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Sports Jokes

When I first entered Olympic Training, I used to have a fear of hurdles…
But I got over it.

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Sports Jokes

You're wrong! I touched second base. I missed third… but I touched second.

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Sports Jokes

1. What does the average Iowa player get on his SAT’s?
Drool.
2. What do you get when you put 32 Alabama cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
3. How do you get a GA Tech cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like hеll.
4. How do you get a Michigan State graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
5. Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
6. Why do they no put ice in the drinks at Wisconsin football games?
The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
7. Why is the Indiana football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.
8. What are the longest three years of a Michigan football player’s life?
His freshman year.
9. Why did Kansas State replace natural grass with Astroturf?
To discourage the cheerleaders from grazing during games.
10. How many Ohio State freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None…That’s a sophomore course at OSU.
11. Why did O. J. want to move to Arkansas?
Everyone there has the same DNA.
12. Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash the rest of the week.

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Sports Jokes

Since Rio de Janeiro is south of the equator, aren’t we technically watching the Winter Olympics?

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Sports Jokes

My first day back at the gym today went well. I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and then 3 days in the hospital.

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Sports Jokes

Where I'm from, you don't see too many people hang gliding. Bubba decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge... into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, his Maw and Paw were sitting on the porch swing talking bout the good ole days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! "Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up," Giт my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. ВАNG... ВАNG... ВАNG... ВАNG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies,
"But at least he let go of Bubba!"

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Sports Jokes

Apparently on FIFA17 to score an over-head kick with your left foot you have to do a ‘Stan Collymore’.
Hit the ‘X’ repeatedly.

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Sports Jokes

Luis Van Gaal was granted a wish from a genie,
“I wish Manchester United were a better team.” he asked.
And hey presto, David Moyes was back in charge.

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Sports Jokes

The вооzеr took careful aim at the bird, but hit a frog. He picked it up, studied it, scratched his head and said, “Well, anyhow I knocked its feathers off.”

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Sports Jokes