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Stupid Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

The average person has sеx 127 times a year.
My December is going to be fuскing awesome.

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Sex Jokes Stupid Jokes

Trust America to name a State after a bucket of fried chicken.

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USA Jokes Stupid Jokes

I took my son’s goldfish to the vet today but it died just before we got there.
I knew I should have put some air holes in the cardboard box.

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Stupid Jokes

I’ve been trying to buy a train ticket online for over an hour now and I’m getting рissеd off.
It keeps asking me, ‘Where do you want to go?’
So I click on the icon that says ‘Home’ and then it makes me start again.

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Stupid Jokes

If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.

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Stupid Jokes

Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they’d broken one of my keyboard keys.
I onder hich one.

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Stupid Jokes

My mum always told me, “Never do something that you’ll regret later in life.”
I always thought that it was great advice. So I got it tattooed on my forehead.

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Stupid Jokes

Well, that was an awkward birthday dinner!
Turns out that МILF doesn’t stand for Mum I’ll Love Forever…

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Stupid Jokes

It’s not Politically Correct to say Lottery players are sтuрid or rетаrdеd.
They are “Mathematically Challenged.”

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Political Jokes Math Jokes Stupid Jokes

How easily you’re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.

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Stupid Jokes

I was in a long line for airline tickets, then I finally made it to the clerk’s counter.
Me:
“I would like a round trip ticket.”
Clerk:
“Where to, sir?”
Me:
“Back here of course! I said round trip!”
Stupid аss clerks…

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Stupid Jokes

That’s the last time I try and sell a tele on eBay.
I had 47 people watching it “cheeky ваsтаrds”

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Stupid Jokes

I spent ages trying to cross a busy road.
Some passer-by said, “There’s a zebra crossing fifty yards up the road.”
I thought, “I hope he’s having better luck than me.”

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Stupid Jokes

It is said that brushing your teeth with the opposite hand stimulates brain activity in the morning.
I tried it and stabbed myself in the back of the throat. Yes, I’m wide awake now.

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Stupid Jokes

I’ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper.
Accountant needed!
£35,000 - £40,000
So I phoned them up and said, “The answer is -£5,000.”

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Stupid Jokes

I was gonna give my change to a homeless guy today, but his sign said “ONE DAY IT COULD BE YOU.”
So I held onto it, just in case he was right.

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Stupid Jokes

Sven:
“Ollie I bought a Lottery ticket today.” …
…
Ollie:
“It looks like it has six numbers on it. 29, 4, 42, 11, 35, 36” ….
…..
Sven:
“What are the odds?” ….
….
Ollie:
“29, 11, 35.”

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Stupid Jokes

I walked out of a club with a girl last night.
She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my соск and said, “Yours or mine?”
I said, “That’s mine.”

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Stupid Jokes

Just melted an ice cube by staring at it…..
Took a bit longer than I thought it would, though.

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Stupid Jokes

My young daughter asked me this morning, “Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream.”
“Nothing, darling,” I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-shaved head.

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Stupid Jokes