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Stupid Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
My mate got married yesterday.
I asked him what he wanted as a present and he said ‘any Apple product would be great’.
So I bought him a couple of tins of cider
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Marriage and Family Jokes Stupid Jokes
There was a sandwich machine in a Swedish factory. Bjorn didn’t quite understand what the machine was about though. He went to the machine and paid his ten kroners and got one sandwich. He was so excited, he paid another ten to the machine and received another sandwich. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches.
Another worker was wondering what Bjorn was doing:
“Bjorn, don’t you think you should stop now?”
“What the hеll are you babbling about?! I am just starting ta vin big!”
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Office and Work Jokes Stupid Jokes
I always try to hold the door open for women I see walking by, in hopes I could possibly start a conversation and get to know her.
But so far, not one of them will get in my car.
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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes
I saw a black man standing in my back garden this morning.
I opened the window and said, “What are you doing mate?”
“Sorry,” he said, “I thought you was in Spain?”
“No,” I replied. “I leave at 6am tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he said, jumping over the fence. “Have a lovely time.”
“Will do,” I smiled.
What a nice guy.
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Men jokes Stupid Jokes
After much urging by his wife, my Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm.
The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a соw, equipping him with a stool and a bucket.
An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirтy and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other.
“Extracting the milk was easy,” he explained. “The worst part was getting the соw to sit on the stool!”
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Office and Work Jokes Stupid Jokes
The fortune teller looked into her crystal ball and said, “You’re going to turn into a woman with a massive forehead.”
“That’s your fuскing reflection you idiот.” I replied.
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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes
I am a modern man, I don’t mind buying tampons.
But apparently, they are not a “proper present”
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Men jokes Stupid Jokes
“It’s been proven that 9 out of 10 single women who sit at home and have conversations with their cats are mentally disturbed.”
My dog’s full of useful information like that.
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Jokes about Women Single People Jokes Stupid Jokes
Look I see that you love me and would кill for me, but this guy over here barely notices me and has a girlfriend.
I’ll play the odds. -Woman logic
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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes
I was really shocked when my wife gave birth and the baby was black.
Is there anything that woman can’t burn?
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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes
You’re a woman, driving alone, lost and you see this clown hitch-hiking at the side of the road. He says he’s late to a birthday party and asks for a ride. What do you do?
…..
…..
…..
Zero to 60 in six seconds.
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Jokes about Women Stupid Jokes
Sven and Ollie got a pilot to fly them into northern Minnesota for elk hunting. … They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. … The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, “The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind.” …
…
Ollie got rather upset:
“Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What’s with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.
Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the Minnesota wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, Sven said to Ollie, “Do you know where we are?”
“I think so,” replied Ollie. “Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!”
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Men jokes Stupid Jokes
“Тiтs man or аrsе man?” I was asked.
I really should have got in there earlier when they were giving out super hero names.
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Men jokes Stupid Jokes Boob Jokes
The average person has sеx 127 times a year.
My December is going to be fuскing awesome.
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Sex Jokes Stupid Jokes
Trust America to name a State after a bucket of fried chicken.
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USA Jokes Stupid Jokes
I took my son’s goldfish to the vet today but it died just before we got there.
I knew I should have put some air holes in the cardboard box.
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Stupid Jokes
I’ve been trying to buy a train ticket online for over an hour now and I’m getting рissеd off.
It keeps asking me, ‘Where do you want to go?’
So I click on the icon that says ‘Home’ and then it makes me start again.
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Stupid Jokes
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
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Stupid Jokes
Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they’d broken one of my keyboard keys.
I onder hich one.
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Stupid Jokes
My mum always told me, “Never do something that you’ll regret later in life.”
I always thought that it was great advice. So I got it tattooed on my forehead.
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Stupid Jokes
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