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Vampire jokes

Newest jokes in this category
I aced my poker test…
my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror…
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n…
do you get my puns… no, because you can’t seem to get a grasp on how bad they are…
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School Jokes Vampire jokes Coffee Jokes
A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn, The stakes have never been higher…
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Vampire jokes
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
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Vampire jokes
I went on a date this evening.
I said, “So, are you a vampire?”
“No,” she said, with a puzzled look on her face.
I said, “So you can see your reflection and you still come out looking like that?”
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Ugly Jokes Vampire jokes
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first bite <3
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Vampire jokes
Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Vampire jokes Holiday Jokes
What is the favourite drink of a vampire?
bloody marry
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Vampire jokes
A vampire walks into a bar, sits down, and says to the bartender, "A cup of boiling water, please." The bartender, confused and scared, walks up with the water and says,
"I thought vampires drank blood..." The vampire pulls out a used тамроn and says,
"Yes, it's tea time."
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Трима вампири сядат в кафене. Един ден двама вампири влезли в бар. Първият казал: - Чаша топла кръв, ако обичате. - Веднага - отвърнал барманът. - А вие? - Чаша гореща вода - обадил се вторият вампир. След няколко минути барманът се върнал с чаша топла кръв и гореща вода и казал: - Вие сте вампири, нали? Щом пиете кръв...... A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea." The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire... There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out... 3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks “a Bloody Mary?” The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water... Van tres vampiros a un bar a tomarse algo en pleno mes de agosto, va el primero y le dice al camarero: - ¡Camarero!, ponme un vaso de granizado de sangre que me muero de calor. El segundo le dice:... Eine Vampirdame setzt sich an eine Bar und sagt zu dem Barkeeper: "Ich hätte gerne eine Tasse mit heißem Wasser." Der Barkeeper fragt erstaunt: "Wieso wollen sie denn Wasser? Sie sollten lieber... Drei Vampire treffen sich in einer Bar. Einer kommt aus Deutschland, einer aus Russland und einer aus England. Der Deutsche bestellt sich ein Bier mit ’nem Schuss Blut und der Russe einen Wodka mit... Ein Vampir geht in eine Bar und bestellt sich ein heißes Glas Wasser.Da fragt der Wirt neugierig: "Hmm, warum wollen sie heißes Wasser und kein Blut?" Da holt der Vampir einen blutigen Tampon... Sitzt ein Eglischer Vampir in einem Kaffe und bestellt eine Tasse heißes Wasser holt einen benutzten Tampong aus der Tasche und sagt genüslich i’ts Tea Time Zwei Vampire gehen in ein Restaurant. Der Eine bestellt sich eine Schale Blut, der andere nur ein Glas heißes Wasser. Daraufhin der Eine zum Anderen: „Wieso bestellst du nur ein Glas heißes... Trois vampires se retrouvent à un bar. Le premier commande un verre de sang chaud. Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude. Les deux autres le regardent tout étonnés. Dracula entre dans un bar de vampires et demande au serveur : C'est trois vampires qui sont dans un bar. Le premier vampire commande un verre de sang chaud.Le deuxième commande un verre de sang froid. Le troisième commande un verre d'eau chaude! Les deux autres le regardent et lui pose la question : - Pourquoi un verre d'eau chaude ? Le troisième répond -... 3 vampires se retrouvent dans un bar lugubre, en hiver, il fait froid.... Le premier demande: - "Un grand verre de sang bien chaud, s'il vous plaît!" le deuxième demande: - "un grand verre de sang... Βρυκόλακες Το τσάι Alcuni vampiri stanno bevendo un drink al loro bar. Entra Dracula e chiede al barista: “Una tazza di acqua bollente”. Il barista e gli altri vampiri lo guardano male. Allora lui tira fuori un... Trzy wampiry wchodzą do baru. Pierwszy z nich siada, a barman pyta: - Czego sobie życzysz? - Setę krwi! Drugi wampir siada, barman pyta: - A co dla Ciebie? - Dwie kolejki! Trzeci siada, barman... Een Nederlandse, een Belgische en een Duitse vampier zitten in een vampierenbar. "Ober!" roept de Nederlandse vampier, "één glas vers bloed alstublieft." En hij krijgt het. "Ober!" roept de... 3 vampieren stappen een caf� binnen. De eerste vampier bestelt een glaasje A negatief en hij drinkt het op. De tweede bestelt een glaasje O negatief opgewarmd. De derde bestelt een glaasje kokend... Kolme vampyyriä meni baariin. Ensimmäinen tilasi pienen lasillisen verta, toinen tilasi ison lasin verta. Kolmas vampyyri pyysi kupillisen kuumaa vettä. Kaksi muuta vampyyriä ihmettelivät asiaa ja...
Vampire jokes Holiday Jokes
I killed a vampire on Halloween this year... or a kid.
Either way, the wooden stake worked.
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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Halloween Jokes Vampire jokes
Halloween Funnies II
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream
What's a monsters favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet
What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo
What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist
How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?-
He has a big D on his pajamas
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Halloween Jokes Vampire jokes
Why wasn't the vampire working? He was on his coffin break.
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Office and Work Jokes Halloween Jokes Vampire jokes
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