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Wife jokes

Newest jokes in this category
I asked my wife the other day what she liked best about me...."Is it my firm, trim, athletic, body? Or, rather, is it my astounding intellect?"
She replied...."Your sense of humor, dear."
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One-Liner Jokes Wife jokes
I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever been with...
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
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Wife jokes Sex Jokes
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.
"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.
"Well, she replies,
"My boss and I played the lottery and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."
A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.
Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.
She replies "My boss and I played the lottery and we won again, so I bought It with my share of the winnings."
Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari....... You guessed it:
Her share of the lottery winnings....
That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while She gets undressed.
When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.
"What the fuск is this?" she asks her husband.
"Well," he replies,
"We don't want to get your lottery ticket wet, do we??"
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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Wife jokes Cheating Jokes Boss Jokes
My wife said to me, “I hate myself because I look fат. Can you give me a compliment?”
I said, “You’ve got perfect eyesight.”
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Wife jokes
В КАТ:
My wife crashed her car yesterday. She told the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking вееr from a can at the time.
The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own back garden.
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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Police Officer Jokes Wife jokes Beer Jokes
Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always remember to get the last two words in: “Yes dear”.
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Wife jokes
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
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Wife jokes Boss Jokes
I like to watch my wedding video running backwards so I can watch myself walk out of the church a free man.
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Wife jokes
A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"
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Wife jokes Priest Jokes
"Maybe," says the wizard, "Can remember the exact words of the curse?" The man replies, "I pronounce you man and wife."
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Wife jokes
Doctor: "Your wife's in hospital."
Me: "How is she?"
Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical."
Me: "Ah, you get used to that..."
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Wife jokes
After trying for a week, my wife just told me that she is pregnant.
She has the worst stutter ever.
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Wife jokes
My wife said she was fed up with me always getting my directions mixed up.
So I packed my bags and right.
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Wife jokes
My wife worships me.
She puts burnt offerings in front of me every day.
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Wife jokes
I hate when my wife gets mad at me for being lazy.
It’s not like I did anything.
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Wife jokes
My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.
She just can’t seem to let it go.
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Wife jokes
I no longer see my wife and kids and it’s all because of gambling.
I won the lottery and moved to Spain.
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Wife jokes
It’s my wife’s birthday in a couple of days and when I asked her what she wanted she said she’d be happy with anything with lots of diamonds in it.
She’s going to love this pack of playing cards I’ve bought her.
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Wife jokes
A young boy goes to his Dad one day and says, “Dad, did you know in some countries you don’t know who your wife is until you get married?”
The dad replies, “It’s like that everywhere, son.”
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Wife jokes
My wife apologised for the first time ever today.
She said she’s sorry she ever married me.
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Wife jokes
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