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Френски вицове English Franzosen-Witze, Franzosenwitz... Español Русский Blagues sur les Français Barzellette francese, Barzelle... Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Українська Piadas de Franceses Polski Svenska Nederlands Dansk Norsk Suomi Magyar Româna Čeština Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
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French jokes

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French Army rifles for sale – never fired and only dropped once!
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There was a poor old Irish cobbler whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant. Every day at lunch time, Mike, the Irish gent, would go out the back of his shop and eat his soda bread and maybe a kipper or piece of Irish blue cheese while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen. One morning, the Irishman was surprised to receive an invoice in the mail from the adjoining restaurant for "enjoyment of food" Mystified, he marched right over to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought a thing from them. The manager said,
"You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."
The Irishman refused to pay and the restaurant took him to court. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the case. The manager said,
"Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen and smells our food while eating his. It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and we deserve to be compensated for it."
The judge turned to Mike and said,
"What do you have to say to that?"
The old Irishman didn't say a thing but smiled and stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside. The judge asked him,
"What is the meaning of that?"
The Irishman replied with a mile wide grin,
- "I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
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Why are the best-used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired, and they have only been dropped once.
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How many gears does a French tank have?
Seven. One forward and six reverse.
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What’s the shortest French book ever written?
The Complete List Of French War Heroes.
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Where does a French cat live?
In Purr-is.
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Knock knock?
Who’s there? French French who? French frise!
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What did the baguette say when it was being sliced?
Ouch! Le pain!
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Don’t eat the French fish.
It’s poissan.
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What did the haunted pancake restaurant serve?
Crepes.
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Why do the French only serve one egg in their omelets?
Because one egg is un oeuf.
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Are you from Paris?
Because you’re driving me in-Seine.
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What happens when you drink too much water in Paris?
European.
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When I was in Paris, I had a terrible accident.
Eiffel off a tower.
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I went to a cafe in Paris and was insulted by the barista.
It was a regular French roast.
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What’s the difference between a tick and the Eiffel tower?
Well nothing, after all, they are both Paris sites.
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I was surprised when I heard about the flooding in Paris.
Normally, the water is l’eau.
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How did the Paris police find Quasimodo?
They followed a hunch.
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