I auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent when it visited Cardiff. But, shockingly, I was turned down. That’s right, my signature ‘balancing a Mars Bar on my head for ten minutes’ failed to impress Simon Cowell. He said, “Sorry, but Osama Bin Laden’s had a Bounty on his head for eight years. There’s a new film called ‘Simon Cowell’. It hasn’t come out yet. I read that Simon Cowell is extremely wealthy and spends 500k on his personal security every year. Wouldn’t it be a lot cheaper if he tried to be a little bit less of a c*nt? What happened when Simon Cowell took Viаgrа? He grew taller. Simon Cowell is more powerful than Jesus. Sure, Jesus can turn water into wine, but Simon Cowell can turn sh1t into money.
I auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent when it visited Cardiff. But, shockingly, I was turned down.
That’s right, my signature ‘balancing a Mars Bar on my head for ten minutes’ failed to impress Simon Cowell.
He said, “Sorry, but Osama Bin Laden’s had a Bounty on his head for eight years.
There’s a new film called ‘Simon Cowell’.
It hasn’t come out yet.
I read that Simon Cowell is extremely wealthy and spends 500k on his personal security every year.
Wouldn’t it be a lot cheaper if he tried to be a little bit less of a c*nt?
What happened when Simon Cowell took Viаgrа?
He grew taller.
Simon Cowell is more powerful than Jesus.
Sure, Jesus can turn water into wine, but Simon Cowell can turn sh1t into money.