Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Български Bad Habits Jokes Deutsch Español Русский Français Italiano Ελληνικά Македонски Türkçe Українська Português Polski Svenska Nederlands Dansk Norsk Suomi Magyar Româna Čeština Lietuvių Latviešu Hrvatski
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. Bad Habits Jokes

Bad Habits Jokes

Most popular in this category
I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend.
Until the LSD wears off and I’m just dragging a stolen mannequin around a car park.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I heard that quitting smoking is one of the most empowering things you can do in life.
I didn’t want to miss out, so I took up smoking.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes Banker Jokes
Тази сутрин едва се събудих. В кафеварката вместо вода съм сипал Ред Бул и си направих двойно кафе. Чак на “Цариградско шосе” забелязах, че съм без колата...
This morning I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee.
After 15 minutes of driving on the motorway, I realised I left my car at home.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes Coffee Jokes
After I won at poker last night, a mate asked,
“How come you’re so lucky at cards yet so unlucky at the horses?”
I said “I don’t get to shuffle the horses.”
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I’ve got a part in a play about сосаinе addicts in rehab.
I don’t have any lines though.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I’m addicted to brake fluid but I’m sure I can stop any time.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
After lots of careful research, I’ve devised an infallible way to win at Roulette.
Step one: open a casino.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
What’s the difference between сосаinе and ecstasy?
Fingering my аnus doesn’t bring me сосаinе.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
SYMPTOM: Вееr unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
SYMPTOM: Вееr tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Вееr consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
SYMPTOM: Вееr is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It’s water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
SYMPTOM: Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in.
FAULT: You’ve wandered into the wrong party.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The вееr is too weak.
SYMPTOM: Don’t remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Вееr is just right.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes Beer Jokes
Сосаinе…… Because its cheaper than sniffing petrol
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: ‘You’re on drugs again!!!’
She could be right… I’m an only child.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
Every cigarette you smoke takes five minutes off your life.
According to my calculations, I should have died in 1879.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
Breakfast - - - The Most Important Cigarette of the day
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
Mothers everywhere: Do not be mystified by the mysterious substance that forms a dry crust on your teen’s socks and stiffness on his bedsheets and pajamas.
It poses no danger unless you accidentally get it too close to your hoo-hah.
It’s called pornstarch and washes down the drain on the first spin cycle.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I put a thousand pounds on a horse.
The fuскing thing collapsed.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I stopped smoking wееd the day after I spent 30 minutes looking for my phone under the bed… …
,,,
…. While using my phone’s flashlight
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I was trying to pull a girl in a bar, so I asked her ‘What part of my body is as long as your thigh, contains over 120 muscles, and is an anagram of “pensi”?’
It was as she pulled my trousers down in the bedroom five minutes later that I revealed the answer was my spine.
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
I came home from the pub four hours late last night.
“Where the fuск have you been?” screamed my wife.
I said, “I’ve been playing poker with some blokes.”
“Playing poker with some blokes?” she repeated. “Well, you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you” I said, “This isn’t our house anymore.”
0 0
0
Bad Habits Jokes
A very inebriated man walks into a nightclub and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walks over to her, places his hand up her skirt and begins fondling her.
Instantly, she jumps up and slaps him silly.
“I’m sorry,” the drunк stammers. “I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable аsshоlе,” screams the woman.
“That’s funny,” he mutters back. “You sound like her, too.”
0 0
0
Jokes about Women Men jokes Bad Habits Jokes
  • Next
Privacy and Policy Contact Us