Internet Jokes

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I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet.
I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

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When I was young I used to have an imaginary friend, now I’m on facebook I have 319.

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Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?
A: They never want to log off.

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Q: What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
A: Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

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I follow CIA on Twitter just so they can see how it feels.

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Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear?
A: Lynx

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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!

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A man walks into a sреrм Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.

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Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.

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Q: Where's Spiderman's home page?
A: On the world wide web.

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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.

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"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."

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"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."

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Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police

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PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?"
Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."

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"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!"
"Don't you mean netsurfing?"
"No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"

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Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?
A: Because they can't stop saving their work.

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Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!

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