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Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.

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Yo Momma Jokes Technology Jokes Old People Jokes

A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him.
When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog.
A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes.
He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?"
The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his аss!"

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Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

A boy speeding on road.
Guard stops him and ask, "Did you see the speed limit sign?"
The boy says, "Yea, I just didnt see you."

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Police Officer Jokes

Q: Why did God invent yeast infection?
A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying сunт.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes God Jokes

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant.
"I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."

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Accountant Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Business jokes Graduation Jokes

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

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Science jokes Money jokes Chemistry Jokes

Раddy and Murphy were doing a crossword.
Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"?
Murphy replies, "What color?"

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Kids Jokes Communication Jokes Stupid Jokes

Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

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Kids Jokes Jokes about Women

I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store.
I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...

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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

What's Mexicans favorite video game?
Borderlands

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Mexican jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?"
"No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Christmas Jokes Dad Jokes

My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!

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Gross Jokes Military Jokes Mother-in-Law Jokes Chemistry Jokes Fart Jokes

A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

Yo mamma so sтuрid her password needed 8 characters, so she typed "Snow White and the 7 dwarfs

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Yo Momma Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Stupid Jokes

The winner of tonight's election is the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.

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Political Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?"
Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."

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School Jokes Math Jokes

She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.

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Sports Jokes Jokes about Women Fitness jokes

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack.
His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker who had a family to support.
At night, the VP tossed and turned in his sleep trying to decide which of his employees he would lay off.
Finally he decided, the first one to come to work tomorrow would be the one.
Morning finally comes and the VP waits at the office for one of the two employees to arrive.
At 8:55 Mary walks into the office.
"I've got a difficult decision" the VP says, "I either have to Lay You or Jack off."
"Oh? jack-off," Mary says, "I've got a headache."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Political Jokes Boss Jokes

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.

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Chuck Norris Jokes