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Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?
A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers.

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Car and driving jokes

Children in the backseat can cause accidents.
Accidents in the backseat can cause children.

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Car and driving jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes

Classic Воотy Call... Airport:
Is there an airport nearby, or is that my heart taking off?

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Car and driving jokes Aviation Jokes

A blonde sees a flier on a bulletin board that reads, "Cruise - Only $5."
She goes to the address on the flier and hands the receptionist $5. The receptionist nods to a burly man reading a newspaper. He walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious.The blonde wakes up tied to a log floating down river. To her right, she sees one of her blonde friends. "Do you think they're going to serve food on this trip?" she asks. Her friend replies, "They didn't last year."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Classic Воотy Call... Curves:
All those curves, and me with no brakes.

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Car and driving jokes

Two guys get pulled over while drinking and driving.
The driver tells his friend, "Peel the labels off these вееr bottles, and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Now, shove all of the bottles under the front seat. Just let me do all the talking."
The cop walks up and shines his flashlight into the car. "Have you been drinking?" he asks.
"No, sir," the drunк answers. "We haven't had a thing to drink tonight."
"Then what on earth are those вееr labels doing on your foreheads?"
"We're both alcoholics," says the drunк. "We're on the patch."

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Car and driving jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Friendship Jokes Beer Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch?
A: Her blinker was on.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Drivers Education Exam Answers:
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't кill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your steering wheel.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

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Car and driving jokes

Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: "Must be an earthquake."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Aviation Jokes

Q: Why does the blonde keep a wire coat hanger in the backseat of her car?
A: In case she locks her keys inside.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Two men debate whether Hawaii is pronounced "HaVaii" or "HaWaii."
They ask a passerby, who answers "Havaii."
"Thank you," says the satisfied first man.
"You're velcome," replies the passerby.

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Car and driving jokes

A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle.
Time passes and the priest says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'u-n-t'?"
The gentleman thinks about this and finally says, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'"
The priest replies, "Oh, you're right. That fits, too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

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Car and driving jokes Aviation Jokes Priest Jokes

Q: What invention did a blonde come up with that didn't pass the patent board?
A: Ejection seats in helicopters.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: She's a woman.

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Car and driving jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Helen Keller Jokes

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Car go Beep Beep!

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Car and driving jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Knock-knock jokes

A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1,000 feet to see how you're doing."
At 1,000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2,000 feet, he said she was still doing well.
Right before she got to 3,000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crashed and pulled her out of the helicopter. He asked her, "What went wrong?"
The blonde said, "At 2,500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fаn off."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding and asks her for her license."You cops should get it together," she said. "One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it to you."

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes

A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.
The e-mail reads:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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Car and driving jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: It's too far to walk.

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Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

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