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Q: Why did the referee stop the lереr hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.

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Gross Jokes

A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack."
Three rabbits," Jed said.The warden said, "Let me see one of those rabbits." So Jed pulled out one of the rabbits. The warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's вuттhоlе, pulled it out, smelled it and said, "This is a Georgia rabbit."
Then the warden said, "Let me see your Georgia huntin' license."
So Jed showed him. Then the warden said, "Let me see another one of those rabbits."
So Jed pulled out another rabbit.Then the warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's вunghоlе, tasted it and said, "
This is a Alamba rabbit. Let me see your Alamba huntin' license."
So Jed showed them to him.
Then the Warden said, "Where you from boy?"
So Jed pulled his pants down and said, "You figure it out!"

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Q: Why does a dog liск himself?
A: He can't make a fist.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's аss?
A: A mechanic!

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Rude Jokes

A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon.
All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the вuтт before coming in and asking for a drink.
The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the вuтт?"
The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips."
The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."

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Gross Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

One roommate said to another, "Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth."
His roommate replied, "Oh, that's my fault - I guess I missed."

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet.
His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "аss" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple."
This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny.
He exclaims, "R is for rats - big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Old People Jokes

Why don't little girls fаrт?
Because they don't have аsshоlеs until they're married.

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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Fart Jokes

The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence?
Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too."
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely sh*t my pants."

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Fart Jokes

There was a little boy and a little girl ...
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said,
"What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said,
"What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later the little girl said,
"How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was down stairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs.
Once she got there she saw blood all over the bathtub.
"What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit....so I cut the back wheels off....."

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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?

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Gross Jokes Nationality Jokes Dirty jokes Cannibal Jokes

Two women are digging in the garden. One pulls out a foot-long carrot and says, "This one reminds me of my husband."
The second woman replies, "Your husband's is that long?"
Her friend answers, "No - that dirтy."

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Jokes about Women Gross Jokes Men vs Women Jokes

An Aggie and a Longhorn had just bought a ranch together, so they were driving the fence line to check everything out when they came upon a goat with his head stuck in a fence.
So the Longhorn gets out of the truck, looks around, and then starts sсrеwing the goat. He gets finished, takes a step back, ands asks the Aggie, Hey, you want a piece of this?
The Aggie says, Yeah, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?

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Gross Jokes

Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself.
Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!"
Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Dog jokes

I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind.
It's all coming back to me now.

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!"
Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table.
"There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blue Collar Jokes Redneck jokes

Two college roommates are about to go to bed.
The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sеx, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"

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Gross Jokes School Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: "Your jeans fit like a glove."

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob.
On the wall? Art.
On the floor? Matt.

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

Q: Why are men like diapers?
A: They are always on your аss and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.

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Gross Jokes Men jokes

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