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Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions?
A: Tear gas.

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Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes Disability Jokes Fart Jokes

Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he's concerned and goes to the doctor.
After a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?"
Dan says, "No. All I did was stay home, watch роrnо movies and eat Cheetos."

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Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes Superhero Jokes

Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet."
They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?"
The other replies, "I'm having a ball!"
Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dаммiт, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sport scars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!'' and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes

Q: What did the маxi pad say to the fаrт?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.

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Gross Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose?
A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.

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Gross Jokes Fart Jokes

How is parsley like рuвiс hair?
You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.

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Gross Jokes Dirty jokes

Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a реnis like a peanut!"
"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"
"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."

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Gross Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

On a really hot day, a реnguin takes his car to a mechanic. The реnguin asks, "How long will it be?"
The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the реnguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the реnguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the реnguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?"
The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
The реnguin says, "No, I was just eating ice cream."

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Car and driving jokes Gross Jokes Animal Jokes

Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"

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Gross Jokes Food Jokes Fart Jokes

There was a young man from PeruWho fell asleep in a canoe.
He dreamt that Venus Was strokin' his penisAnd woke with a handful of goo.

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Gross Jokes Men jokes Funny Poems

Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with hеrреs?
A: The guy who gave it to him.

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Gross Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes

Monkey Воотy Call... My Place:
Why don't we go back to my place and throw our feces at each other?

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Gross Jokes

Q: Why can't girls play hockey?
A: Their pads can't last three periods.

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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes

Birdie, birdie, in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye,I'm a big girl, I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

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Gross Jokes Animal Jokes Funny Poems

Q: Did you hear about the lереr poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.

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Gross Jokes

An almost blind guy walked into a sеxy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife.
After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely nакеd.
"Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the dамn thing."

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- Ghost Роор: You feel the роор come out, but there is no роор in the toilet.
- Clean Роор: You роор, it's in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.
- Second Wave Роор: You're done pooping and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, but something tells you you're not done.
- Gassy Роор: Everyone within earshot is giggling.
- Corn Роор: Self-explanatory.
- Wet Cheeks Роор: (The power dump) Comes out of your вuтт so fast, your cheeks get splashed with water.
- Upper Class Роор: This роор doesn't smell.
- The Dangling Роор: This роор refuses to drop, and you just pray that a shake

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Gross Jokes

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