Marketing Jokes

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These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
TICKLE ME ELMO. NEW IN BOX. HARDLY TICKLED. $700
VALENTINES DAY SALE: TY-D-BOL BLUE TOSS-INS
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15
DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOUR VALENTINE - HAVE YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 YR WARRANTY. LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINЕ SMELL.
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BTH HOME.

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Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.

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Conversation between a guy and a salesperson during the new Tesla roadster drive test...
"Excuse me, sir, I see on the specs that the new Tesla roadster comes standard with a defibrillator?"
"Are you ready to hear the price?"

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How did Yoda get his first lead?
He used the Sales Force.

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What kind of marketing does Dracula do?
A-COUNT-based marketing.

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Why don’t marketer’s like trampolines?
They’re scared of high bounce rates.

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What do you call a travel agency’s landing page?
A Destination URL

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Why do digital marketers love to shop at Whole Foods?
They have a lot of organic content.

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An SEO marketer walks into a bar…
bars, tavern, pub, public house, Irish pub, drink, drinks, liquor, вееr, alcohol…

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Why did the junior marketer get into display advertising?
She wanted to make a lasting impression.

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Why did the marketer put a fence around her jewelry box?
She insists on gating all her assets.

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Why wasn’t the candidate hired for the marketing job?
He was anti-social.

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Car for sale 25,000 b. C. Roadster... Rust free, air blows cold, foot brakes, well under ten million miles. Wood body panels original seats.. This is a solid car!!

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