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Latest Jokes

If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Political Jokes Democrat jokes Light bulb jokes American Presidents Humor

Yo mama is so frickin old her вrеаsт milk is powdered.

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Yo Momma Jokes Food Jokes Old People Jokes

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!

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Knock-knock jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Dad says to his son, "Don't маsтurвате to much because you will go blind."
Son say, "I'm over here?"

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Masturbation jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes Science jokes

One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him.
“Daddy, the cat died today!”
“Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.”
“But why are his arms and legs up in the air?”
“Well, darling, that’s just something they do.”
She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later.
When the dad comes home, she runs up to him.
“Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”

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Pet Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Yo mama is so fат that her аss is a laundry so we can iron anything on it.

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Yo Momma Jokes Vulgar jokes

I dont understand why people say sеx is good in the shower.
How do you guys not get your laptop wet?

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Sex Jokes Gross Jokes Computer Jokes

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of мurdеr which was brought by the prosecution. The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict. When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter."Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him."

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Lawyer Jokes

Yo mamma is so fат when she went to the movie theater people said "Look at king Kong in 3D."

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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven.
There is a brouhaha.
Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem.
Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls.
It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly.
The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him.
"Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."

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Sherlock Holmes Jokes God Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q: Who was the first accountant?
A: Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry lost interest after withdrawal, вuggеrеd up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.

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Accountant Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes

Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

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Travel and Tourist Jokes

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

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Money jokes Men jokes

Yo mamma so fат she walked into the upside down and it immediately turn right side up-

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Yo Momma Jokes

It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids.
"Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully.
"I am" said one.
"I am" said the second.
"No," the father said "their mother is!"

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Parent Jokes Kids Jokes

Q: How do you кill an emo?
A: You don't you let depression do the work.

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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing time, sat at the bar and ordered, "Barbender, barbender, I would like a Martoutsy."
The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
"Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy", again the bartender brought her a Martini.
By this time the lady is leaning heavily forward, barely able to hang on.
She called, "Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn."
Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, "Lady, I am not a barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a Martoutsy, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn, your тiтs are hanging in the ashtray."

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Boob Jokes

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hеll!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

As a child, I was afraid of ghosts.
As I grew up, I realized people are more scary.

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Kids Jokes Insult Jokes Vulgar jokes Ugly Jokes