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Latest Jokes

You was sent back to earth from hеll becasuse the devil choked on your soul.

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Sick and Death Jokes

The symptoms of Ebola are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea and stomach pains.
Kind of like when I see my wife going thru my phone.

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Sick and Death Jokes

When my granddad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I can remember the first thing I said to him.
“Have you got that five grand I lent you?”

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Sick and Death Jokes

I said to my wife, “Do you hear that? No one whining, moaning or complaining. The sound of silence. It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
And put her urn back on the mantelpiece.

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Sick and Death Jokes

My girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to рiss you off.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

I think this year for Halloween I’m going to go out as a blessing in disguise

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Halloween Jokes

Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party

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Halloween Jokes

I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.

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Halloween Jokes

You so ugly on Halloween someone said scary costume.

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Halloween Jokes

Daffy Dictionnary
Daffynition
Organ Grinder (n.) Or • guhn Gri • n • dur
A fаggот with a chipped tooth.

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Gay and Lesbian Jokes

Love's a lot like a bullet in that the exit usually causes the most damage.

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Jokes

My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting.

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Jokes

I had just pulled over someone for driving under the influence when another car pulled up behind us. I stopped what I was doing and ventured back to see if the driver needed assistance.
“No, I don’t need any help,” he said, reeking of вооzе. Then, pointing to the flashing cherry top on the roof of my cruiser, he continued, “I just stopped for the red light.”

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Criminal Jokes

A couple of terrorist were making letter bombs. After they had finished, one said:
“Do you think I put enough explosive in this envelope? “I don’t know,” said the other. “Open it and see.” “But it will explode.” “Don’t be sтuрid! It’s not addressed to you!

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Criminal Jokes

Preparing to go on vacation yet very concerned her apartment would be burglarized while she was gone, Mrs. Smilowitz taped a note to her front door saying, "WE ARE HOME." When she came back from her vacation she found the house was robbed and everything was gone except for the dining room table. On it was a note which read, "Where were you? We looked for you!"

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Criminal Jokes

The more you weigh, the harder it is to kidnap you.
Stay safe. Eat more cake.

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Criminal Jokes

What are the only 2 electrical devices you should always leave on overnight? Fridges and life support machines, it would be a shame to waste all those vegetables.

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Disability Jokes

All my of my 15 psychiatrists say that I have an addictive persolality.

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Disability Jokes

In my spare time I like to help blind people… I’m great with a slingshot.

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Disability Jokes