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Latest Jokes

Chuck Norris once had вееr with a bunch of aliens in a nondescript location.
Today we call it Area 51

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Chuck Norris Jokes

It was really romantic to see an 85 year old man and 77 year old woman who were a couple for 65 years.
It was horrifying when I did the math.

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Math Jokes

A blonde encountered a brunette friend of hers and said, “I heard that you had died.”
The brunette replied, “Well, you can see, I’m alive.”
To which the blonde said, “But I trust the redhead who told me more than you.”

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Blonde Jokes

What the difference between my dad and a police officer?
I don't need to be black for my dad to beat me.

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Dad Jokes

People ask how I'm so prepared for Christmas
It's easy I had all presents wrapped and hidden in the attic since August, my girlfriend is going to love her new puppy

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Christmas Jokes

What's the difference between LSD and my dad?
LSD doesn't need to be drunк to hit me.

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Dad Jokes

Why didn’t the math professor teach during the summer?
She needed a tan

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Math Jokes

My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago.
The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed.

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Dad Jokes

A blonde рrоsтiтuте calls the police to report that she'd been rареd...
"When did it happen?" the cop asks.
"Five days ago," the blonde says.
"Five days!" the cop says. "Why did you wait so long to call us!?"
"Well, I didn't know it was rаре until the check bounced!"

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Blonde Jokes

My dog needed a checkup, so I Googled a place nearby. But when I got there, it was just this blonde white guy in army camo covered in swаsтiка tattoos.
Stupid Google found me a veteran аryаn.

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Blonde Jokes

My dad said this at his retirement... he is a former principal
"I remember a time when Harass was two words.

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Dad Jokes

Ranger Jimmy was not actually black (on walker texas ranger)
He was just in Chuck Norris's shadow

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Chuck Norris Jokes

I majored in Politics, Computer Science, and Dance.
Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.

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Science jokes

What do you call it when computer science majors make fun of each other?
Cyber boolean

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Science jokes

There are 2 truly difficult problems in Computer Science
0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors

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Science jokes

Lebron's life is like one big compass...
He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West.

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Dad Jokes

A blonde and a brunette stuck in an elevator. The blonde starts to shout:
“HELP HELP”. The brunette says:
“maybe we should shout together”. The blonde continues to shout:
“Together together”.
Ps sorry for my grammar. Hope Zoe guys understand it:

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Blonde Jokes

I recently bought a Christmas tree at a shop...
The man at the cashier said to me "Are you going to put that up yourself?"
I replied to him in disgust saying "No, that is disgusting! I'm going to put it up in my living room."

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Christmas Jokes

Why was the Christmas tree sent to the psych ward?
Because it was suffering from ornamental health issues.

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Christmas Jokes

I went to shop to buy a Christmas tree.
The man in the shop asked if I'll put it up myself.
I said that I'll actually put it in the living room.

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Christmas Jokes