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Latest Jokes

Yo mama so fат when stepped on a scale she said, "How does it know my credit card number?"

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Yo Momma Jokes

Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?
A month later he was picking his teeth.

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Dentist Jokes

I didn't believe it when they said "we already had 8 inches of snow" had to check for myself.

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Dirty jokes

Will sell dog.
Easy-going.
Eats anything.
Loves children.

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Pet Jokes

“They say the dog is man's best friend.
I don't believe that.
How many of your friends have you neutered?”
- Larry Reeb

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Pet Jokes Funny Quotes Dog jokes

Dogs are the best alarm clocks.
When they want out, there’s no snooze button that could tame that.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

Why did the dog lie down?
He found lying up a little hard.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What market shouldn't you take your dog to?
The flea market.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What looks like a dog, lives in a dog house, eats dog food and is extremely dangerous?
A Rottweiler with a black belt in karate.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What creature has four legs and one hand?
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What do you call a wolf who picks up litter after campers and is worried about pollution?
Aware wolf.

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Pet Jokes

I’m considering removing my dog’s tail.
My mother in law comes next weekend and I intend to get rid of anything that would give her the impression that she is welcome.

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Pet Jokes

What is the best timekeeper you could wish for?
A watch dog.

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Pet Jokes

What do you do when you see a dog eating your dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A good idea for a sign:
“Salespeople welcome – dog food has become really expensive”

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a Sаinт Bernard’s?
A dog that bites you and then goes to fetch help.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

Why do dogs liск their butts?
Because nobody will do it for them.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”

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Pet Jokes Cat jokes Dog jokes

Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon.
A customer walks up to him and says, “It’s not often that I see a dog drinking bourbon here!”
The dog sniffs, “Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices.”

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes