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Latest Jokes

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why can't little people be killed?

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One-Liner Jokes

Jones aside. ‘You’re in perfect health,’ he says.
‘Your wife didn’t give me an еrестiоn, either.’

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Sex Jokes

Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me.
Look how time files!

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Life Jokes

Two old ladies are in a restaurant.
One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible."
The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."

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Food Jokes Old People Jokes

Where is the best place to hide a niggеr's food stamps?
Under his work boots.

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Office and Work Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited.
Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was.
He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"

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Kids Jokes

Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo.
Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny.
Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that!
Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...

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Animal Jokes

‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’
Douglas Adams

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Money jokes

A husband gives his wife a complete mink outfit for her birthday – a 12-bore shotgun and some traps.

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Money jokes

I thought I told you to lose weight.
Says the coach.
What happened to your three week diet that I told you to keep?
Well, I finished it in three days!

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Sports Jokes

There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue.
Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand.
The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.

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Animal Jokes

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat”
He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, “woof, woof”. The cop says, “its only a dog”.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, “potato”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

What games do ants play with elephants?
Squash!

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Sports Jokes

Why has Guinness got a white head on it?
So when you’re drunк you know which end to start on.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here'.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes

A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"

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Animal Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

She has her husband eating out of the palm of her hand – it saves on the washing-up.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

My husband and I married for better or worse.
He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.

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Marriage and Family Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes