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Latest Jokes

I bought a pug for my wife.
Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fат, the pug seemed to like her.

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Fat Jokes

A fат man was standing in front of a kindergarten
One of the teachers comes and asks him:
"Are you expecting a child?"
"No. I am a bit fат that's all"

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Fat Jokes

I went to the doctors with hearing problems...
He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"
So I replied "Homers fат, and Marge has blue hair"

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Fat Jokes

• My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog.
She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*

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Dog jokes

Donald Trump is going to be president in 4 days.
That.. That's it...

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Donald Trump Jokes

It’s funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can’t do any of those things

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Jokes

I was rooting for Donald trump to be president
We havnt had a presidential assassination in a while

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Jokes

I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized, it was a waist of time!

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Jokes

Why cant orphans watch PG movies?
BC they are parental guidance.

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Jokes

When you use ancestry. Com instead of tinder

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Jokes

What do a fат chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.

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Jokes

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. “Oh Donald, You fuск just like Barack Obama.”

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Jokes

Who’s the fastest reader
Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

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Jokes

What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?
The Inbredibles.

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Jokes

I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism

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Jokes

When you loose a game of Kahoot so you kashoot up the school

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Jokes

I’m made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gаy and a sprinkle of emo.

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Jokes

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? – You make a seizure salad.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book…it’s called “Around The House in Eighty Days.”

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Jokes

I’m not lazy, I’m just воnе tired. I bet that one tickled your funny воnе. It sure got me rattled. Don’t try to stop me. I’ve got a skele-ton of these!

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Jokes