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Latest Jokes

There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says,
"In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The Marine replies,
"In the Marines, they teach us not to рее on ours!"

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Dirty jokes Military Jokes Sailor Jokes

Kangaroo 911:
"What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo:
"I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911:
"Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo:
"Oh nevermind."

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Customer service jokes

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.

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Dark Humor Jokes Lawyer Jokes

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. “Say, is this really a healthy place?”
“It sure is,” the man replied. “When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.” “That's wonderful!” said Bill. “How long have you been here?”
“I was born here.”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

What has ten letters and starts with gas?
An automobile.

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Kids Jokes

Johnny's teacher paid a visit to his house one day. When little Johnny opened the door, she asked,
"Are your father and mother in, Mr. Morton?"
"They was in, but they is out now," he answered.
The teacher gasped, "Why, Mr. Johnny Morton, it is 'They were in, but they are out now.' Where's your grammar?"
"She's upstairs taking her nap."

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Where does an Irish family go on holiday?
A different bar.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

I knew there were no weapons of mass destruction. Sh*t, I saw more in Charleton Heston's basement than I did when I was over there -- I don't give a dамn.'

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Nationality Jokes

Breaking news - Suicidal blonde
Kills twin by mistake

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News and Politics Jokes Blonde Jokes

Me: hey I like your shirt
Girl: thanks!
Me: it would look better on my bedroom floor though

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes

Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...

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School Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Father:
"You've got 4 D's and a C on your report."
Son:
"Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."

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School Jokes

What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport?
Pool.

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Sports Jokes

My aging father who definitely qualifies as your stereo typical “grumpy old man” hasn’t adjusted well to technology. Mistakenly I taught him how to send text messages.
After a week of pure mayhem and upsetting most every family member, he blames “auto correct” for putting words in his mouth. Apparently he doesn’t seem to understand that auto correct won’t fix an entire paragraph.

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Technology Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes

A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Вlоw Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time."
The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit.
She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off.
So she turns the light off and starts suскing his diск.
All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day.
He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights.
All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.

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Gross Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life

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Car and driving jokes Animal Jokes

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Boss Jokes

Die hard

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Dark Humor Jokes