Newest jokes

The son asks his dad, “Dad, what can I do if I want To live forever?”
Dad replies,
“All you have to do is marry.”
The son is surprised,
“And that will really make me live forever?”
Daddy replies wearily,
“No, but the wish dies.”

0

0

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Good jokes

I was picking up my girl. Her dad looked at me very
Sternly and said,
"I want her home by midnight, young man!"
I said,
"What do you mean? You already own her home!"

3

0

Men jokes | Good jokes

- I made cookies for you. It is an apology because I crashed your car.
- You did what?!
- Cookies. I made cookies for you.

6

0

Jokes about Women | Car and driving jokes | Good jokes

Astronaut's last words: ОМG guys, who farted? I have to open the window.

0

0

Cosmos jokes, Space jokes | Fart Jokes | Last Word Jokes | Good jokes

I just like to sleep without clothes on. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.

0

0

Flight attendant jokes | Good jokes

Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this.
Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
Pack it up I said!“

0

0

Waiter Jokes, Waiters Jokes | Good jokes

Funny, those road signs:
"Caution - Watch for Children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?

0

0

My friend talked me into lending her money for plastic surgery. I’ve been trying to get it back for months.
Unfortunately I have no idea what she looks like these days.

0

0

Money jokes | Good jokes

Girl:
"I'm sick and tired of you pretending to be Some detective ace all the time. I think we should split up."
Me:
"Excellent idea. That way we can cover more ground."

2

0

Men-Women jokes | Couple jokes | Good jokes

A couple sits on a sofa. He has foot odor and she has Mouth odor. After a moment of awkward silence, she says,
“Paul, I have To tell you something.”
“No need,” Paul raises his hand,
“it’s OK. I Know you ate my socks.”

0

0

Why are you smiling?
Well I just made a test and I'm not pregnant.
That's wonderful, Harold!

0

0

One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska. You have to ask things like “What were you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”

0

0

One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Man attempted to hijack a bus full of Japanese tourists. The police has 3756 photos of him.

0

0

One Liner Jokes, Short jokes | Police, Policemen, Cops and Law Enforcement jokes

What is white and flies up?
A rетаrdеd snowflake

0

0

One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!

2

0

One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

I will never forget my dad’s last words:
“Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!”

0

0

Dark Humor | One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

Question on Facebook:
“What do you do with the white ball once you drank the mozzarella?”

0

0

One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

An international football team flies on a charter jet
To their next tournament. It’s quite a long flight and they get bored
And decide, since it’s a charter flight, that they’re going to play some
Football on the plane.
After a while the captain is getting angry with all the yelling and
Bumping and sends his co-pilot to go out there and shut them up.
30 seconds later the co-pilot comes back and the plane is wonderfully
Silent.
“That’s awesome, how did you manage to calm them down this quickly?”
“It was no problem. I just said, ‘Listen, guys, the weather is lovely –
Why don’t you play outside for a while?’”

0

0