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Latest Jokes

Q: When a child is going to school for the first time, where will it sit?
A: Nowhere, it is still going.

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Funny Riddles School Jokes

Q: Who eats a lot of iron without getting sick?
A: The rust.

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Funny Riddles

What is at the center of Earth?
An R. (eaRth)

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Funny Riddles

Q: You have a basket with 20 apples. You have 20 hungry children. Every child should get an apple but one apple should remain in the basket. How do you do that?
A: You give 19 children one apple each and to the last one you give the basket containing the last apple.

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Funny Riddles

Q: The more he has the less he weighs. What is it?
A: Cheese with holes.

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Funny Riddles

Prank question:
Which hand do you use to wipe your вuтт?
The right one, what an odd question?
Oh, I simply use toilet paper…

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Funny Riddles

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas."
Claude Pepper

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Funny Quotes

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Oscar Wilde

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Funny Quotes Money jokes Attitude Jokes

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright

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Funny Quotes

“It’s been a tough week. I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it’s trying to blackmail me.”
Gary Delaney

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Funny Quotes

Honolulu – it’s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife’s mother.
Ken Dodd

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Funny Quotes

The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
Woddy Allen

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Funny Quotes

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Steve Martin

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Funny Quotes

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
George Burns

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Funny Quotes

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.”
Robin Williams

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Funny Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Robert Bloch

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Funny Quotes

Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
Robin Williams

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Funny Quotes

A pregnant woman in labor and her husband come into a birth clinic.
They go through the paperwork when finally a doctor appears and announces, “Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins, I’m Dr. Kooresh and I will deliver your baby.”
The husband looks at him, “You know, we think it would be better if the baby could keep its liver.”

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Pregnancy Jokes

Q: What goes swimming with you but never gets wet?
A: Your shadow.

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Funny Riddles

Q: What is the difference between a car and toilet paper?
A: It’s perfectly OK to buy a used car.

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Funny Riddles