Newest jokes - Page 829

Those Beats By Dr Dre headphones are a great product.
It used to be hard to spot a сunт unless he got his iPhone out…

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Two little kids debated whether Santa Claus is black or white. So the little black and white boys sent their letter in the mail to The North Pole asking, "Santa, are you black or white? P.S. I, Harry, want an iPhone and Kentavious wants an X-Box One." (Kids these days) Santa soon replies with a letter saying, "It doesn't matter if I am black or white. The only thing that matters is that you don't judge by color."
"Ha, see Kentavious, Santa is white!" Harry said. "No way. He neva said dat," Ketavious defended. "But if Santa was black," Harry started, "He would have said,'It doesn't matter if I is black or white.' "

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Kids Jokes Christmas Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

Yo mama so sтuрid, that when she heard about cookies on the internet she ate her computer

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Yo Momma Jokes Internet Jokes

Guns can кill, Chuck Norris does!

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Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

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Sick and Death Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Animal Jokes Birthday Jokes

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn’t know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes God Jokes Old People Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

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Fart Jokes Boss Jokes

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fаrт followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fаrт my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.

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Animal Jokes Fart Jokes Coffee Jokes

News paper ad: “Dial Sеxy, local rate calls”
Woman on phone: “Good afternoon, Dyslexia help line”
Me: “Oh воllоскs”

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Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Disability Jokes

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, ‘My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic’?

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Disability Jokes

Q: What do you call a bunch of black people running up a hill?
A: Backed up sewage.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Communication Jokes

A man married an illiterate wife.
After two years of marriage, they gave birth to a son called EFe.
One day his mother asked him to read is multiplication table and he started immediately but when he reached 4multiply by 4 he mistakingly said 8 they mother angrily slapped him and told him the answer wasn't 8 but 44.
The boy cried and reported what happened to the father, the father took him back and angrily told the wife to tell him the correct answer and the woman hurriedly say 4mutiply by 4 is it not 44.
The man now calmed down and sai d u are Lucky that you got the answer if not I would have disgraced you here.
I hope they are all brilliant.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Communication Jokes

The myth about blacks having big penises is true. Asians have small eyes because you have to squint to see their реnis.

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Boycott Jokes

2 terrorists walk in a bar and talk
The bartender asks whats the talk about
Terrorist 1 - we are going to кill 14k people and a donkey
Bartender- why a donkey?
Terrorist 2- see i told you no-one would care about the 14k people

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Boycott Jokes

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I’m color blind

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Friendship Jokes Birthday Jokes

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Кill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

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Birthday Jokes

My boyfriend had a hard time telling his parents that he was gаy because he's from some Christian Right family out in Idaho, and they couldn't deal with any kind of sеxuаl issues at all. When he was 13, his mother caught him маsтurватing, and she freaked out. She smacked him so hard that she knocked him out of their pew.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Christian Jokes Masturbation jokes

God must love sтuрid people. He made SO many.

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God Jokes Christian Jokes

I see that they have discovered a hidden pyramid……when they looked inside the explorers found a tomb containing a king, wrapped in gold…..when they unwrapped him, he was covered in chocolate and nuts.
They reckon they’ve found the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food:

*Your hot dog just fetched its own ketchup and relish.

*You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive central nervous system in you Jell-O.

*Chocchini: looks like zucchini, tastes like a chocolate Ding Dоng.

*The black-eyed peas on your fork just winked at you.

*Every time you pour a glass of orange juice, your garage door goes up.

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Food Jokes Science jokes Chocolate Jokes Dog jokes

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