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Latest Jokes

Twitter is just LinkedIn for the chronically unemployed.

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Programmer Jokes Social Network Jokes

Rey: Join me Ben you don’t have to be alone anymore, join me. Ben: But Rey, Ive always been solo.

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Star Wars Jokes Military Jokes

Stromtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader’s son.
Palpatine: Knew it.

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Star Wars Jokes

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and restart.
Order shall return.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.

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Programmer Jokes Computer Jokes

Childs experience: if a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests.

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Make My Day Laughs

What do toys and воовs have in common? Both are made for children but it's the fathers who play with them most.

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Make My Day Laughs Boob Jokes

Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection

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Computer Jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, “I still love Vista, baby”.

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Computer Jokes

one day the teacher said “there are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. how many are left?” the teacher calls on lil johnny. “none” the teacher said ‘‘no but try again’’ lil johnny says
" none bc if u shoot one the rest get scared and leave" the teacher said’’ not quiter but i like the way you think"
lil johnny then says " alr teacher i have one for you. there are 3 women sitting on a bench, ones suскing it. the other its licking it, and the last on is bitting it. witch one is married?"
the teacher then says "the one suскing it ofc"
lil johnny then says “no the one with the ring but i like the way you think”

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Animal Jokes School Jokes

Why do orphans go to church on family day?
cuz they get to spend time with their father

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Church jokes

What’s a orphans favorite movie
Home alone

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why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson
Cause it’s a family company

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Dogs have owners.
Cats have staff.

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Animal Jokes Dog jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get the chicken newspaper.

You get it?

I don't get it either. I get The Daily Herald.

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

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Dark Humor Jokes Food Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Morbid jokes

My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool.
I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..."
"That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

An elderly retired couple went to a doctor.
The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly.
Will you look at us?"
"Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love.
"You are making love perfectly," the doctor said.
"That will be $10."
They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing.
On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for - I told you that you are making love properly!"
"She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house.
A motel costs $20.
You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."

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Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Old People Jokes Love Jokes

‘Doctor, I suffer from premature еjасulатiоn.
Can you help me?!’
‘No, but I can introduce you to a woman with a short attention span!’

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Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.

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Food Jokes Dead baby jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes