Newest jokes - Page 886

Q: Why do blacks have flat noses?
A: That's where God put his foot when he pulled off their tails.

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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Little Johnny burst through the front door with a smile on his face.
Surprised that Johnny was home so early, his mother asked, “Why are you home from school so early?”
Johnny answered, “I was the only one who could answer a question.”
“Oh, really? What was the question?” his mother asked.
“Who threw the eraser at the teacher?”

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant.
"The ball type?" asked the clerk.
"No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."

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Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

I went to the groceries because I wanted to buy one bottle of milk.
I have found out that I´ve got only 0,50 cent and the mild has cost 1 euro.
I have told the saleswoman that I have only 0,50 cent and I want to buy one bottle of milk.
She has solved the situation very practically.
She has taken the mop, went to the storage, cleaned the floor with spilled milk on it, she has pressed out the mop to the carry bag and gave it to me.
At home I have added this milk to the coffee, I have felt something like stones or something like that under my teeth, but the coffee was really tasty.
After that came my friends and the party has continued as usual.

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Money jokes Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Business jokes Friendship Jokes Customer service jokes Coffee Jokes

Where were the first French Fries made?
In Greece.

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Nationality Jokes

For people that don't smoke рот, there's very little difference in behavior between when you're sтоnеd and when you're not. Really there's only one difference: when you're sтоnеd, you forget to say, 'Excuse me, I'm about to change the subject.'

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Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

** In a Bar **
A guy walks up to a girl and yells, "Fат Реnguin", she replies, what did you just say? The man answers, I just said something that would break the ice.

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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Men jokes Fat Jokes

Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sailor Jokes Military Jokes Pirate Jokes

A lecturer who was drunк walked in a class.
Ater few minutes he wanted to urinate, he ran out and open a zip slowly, so that he may urinate.
After urinating, that's when he realized that the zip he opened was for a jacket.

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School Jokes Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Stupid Jokes

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing.
One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice.
The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you."
The successful man spits something into his hand.
"You've got to keep your worms warm."

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Sports Jokes Men jokes

What do you do if you see your TV floating?
Say " DROP IT NIGGА".
What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating?
Run because that is one hеll of a big black guy!

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Technology Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Black People Jokes

A Policeman pulls over a motorist for running a stop sign.
The motorists says, "What's the problem officer, I slowed down for that stop sign?"
The officer replies, "I know you slowed down, but you are supposed to stop."
"But officer, I slowed down, what's the difference?"
"The difference is, you're supposed to stop.", says the officer.
"But I slowed down!" replied the motorist.
The officer says, "Let me explain it to you this way.
I'm going to drag your scrawny аss out of your car, then I'm going to take this stick I carry on my belt and I'm going to start beating you with it.
After five minutes I'm going to ask you, do you want me to slow down or do you want me to stop?"

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Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Police Officer Jokes

In my village, it is not usual, ordinary, even normal that somebody would go to work.
Even though there is one person in our village who goes to work on a regular basis.
In the morning when he goes to work the whole village accompanies him, men, women, children, grannies and grandpas and in the evening when he goes back from work the whole village welcomes him back.
We all are smiling at him and we are waving at him with the bunches of purple lilac flowers for example during this period of time, April, May.

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? – American teenage girls get sтоnеd before they have sеx.

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Religion jokes American Jokes

Q: Do you know what 69 is?
A: It's a good thing sсrеwеd up by a period.

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm tired 8 days a week.

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Jokes

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Holiday Jokes Vampire jokes

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.

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Animal Jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes

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