Animal Jokes

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Oh yeah, nearly forgot. She's been having really bad wind lately!

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I will not eat anything that оnce had a soul . Not a problem he was a Lawyer .

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How concentrated milk is made

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How do you prepare the chicken? We just tell them straight out they are going to die.

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Shiттy cruise but awesome buffet

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For those of you who have always lived in the city and have never set foot on a farm, these are what cow eggs like.

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A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers Properly.
“So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And Then you go at them full blast and eat them.”
“OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right Away?”
“I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all That shiт in their intestines?”

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Why do cats like Michael Jackson? Cuz they go meeOWWWW

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If a one "L" Lama is a priest and a 2 "L" llama is an animal, what is a 3 "L" lama?
A fire in Brooklyn

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Why did the large animal vet hospital go out of business?
Too many HIPPO violations.

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A giraffe is the only animal that can walk into a bar and say ...
' The Highballs are on me'

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What farm animal makes the best cook?
Pigs. They are always bakin'

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Bill Belichick arrested on animal cruelty chargers.
The slaughtered carcasses of a ram, a panther, an eagle, a seahawk, and a falcon were found in his refrigerator by a friend visiting his house this morning.
I want to die

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What's the difference between an equine animal owned by the Dalai Llama and and equine animal at Cheltenham?
Ones a Tibetan horse the others a horse Tibetan.
This is an entirely original joke that I came up with. I like it.

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What's the difference between a singer and a farm animal that wants plastic surgery?
One's Iggy Pop. The other's piggy op.

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What type of animal are you stan for?
I stan bull

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Whats the difference between a Kangaroo & Kangaroot
Ones an Australian Animal, and the other is a Geordie Stuck in a lift

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I'm glad I'm not a farm animal.
If I was, I'd be in a baaaaaaa'd mooooooo'd

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If lion is the king of the jungle, then what is a monkey?
An animal.
P. S. courtesy of my 6 year old niece.

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Animals have white skin too.
Animal crackers, as my grandma likes to call them.

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