Animal Jokes

Most popular in this category

How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.

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Animal Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Baby Jokes

How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his вuтт?
Tricera-bottoms.

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Animal Jokes

Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."

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Animal Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Hotel Jokes

How do you hire a teddy bear?
Put him on stilts.

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Animal Jokes

Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole соw, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s вullshiт – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”

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Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes Dog jokes

What kind of whale flies?
Pilot whales.

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Animal Jokes Aviation Jokes Pilot Jokes

What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."

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Animal Jokes Music and Musician Jokes

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died

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Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.

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Animal Jokes

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.

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Animal Jokes

What is the most famous shark?
William Sharkspeare.

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Animal Jokes

A guy meets a hоокеr in a bar.
She says,
"This is your lucky night.
I’ve got a special game for you.
I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies,
"Hey, why not?"
He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly:
"Paint…my…house."

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Animal Jokes

Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.

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Animal Jokes

If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.

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Animal Jokes

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers.

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Animal Jokes