Attitude Jokes

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A genius lives in every one of us. Each day more and more heavily…

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Attitude Jokes

Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.

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Attitude Jokes

I'm just a burned out bulb on the billboard of life.

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Attitude Jokes

The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think 50% of Americans have lost their minds.

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Attitude Jokes

I'd pat my own back but my ego is too busy shaking my hand.

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Attitude Jokes

They lie about marijuana:
"Marijuana makes you unmotivated." Lie. When you're high, you can do anything you normally do just as well. You just realize it's not worth the fuскing effort. There's a difference.

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Attitude Jokes

Your opinion is very important to me, please remain on the line until it goes to voicemail.

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Attitude Jokes

Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them...

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Attitude Jokes

I might drive you crazy, but at least I'll take the scenic route.

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Attitude Jokes

Do you know why I make puns? Because it's my respunsibility.

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Attitude Jokes

I heard the next Steve Jobs movie will be on IMAX. It's the same movie, just on a вiggеr screen.

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Attitude Jokes

I'm a people person, but from a distance.

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Attitude Jokes

Couple beside me in restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom.

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Attitude Jokes

Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change.

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Attitude Jokes

Spent 15min tracing a suspicious noise that tuned out to be the lid not sсrеwеd on the Coke bottle tightly enough. If you need a top sleuth.

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Attitude Jokes

If he hurts you, cry a river and then drown him in it.

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Attitude Jokes

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

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Attitude Jokes

Karma takes too long, I'd rather beat the shiт out of you just now.

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Attitude Jokes

Smoking is a slow death! But we're not in a hurry…

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Attitude Jokes

If you are a bit paranoid, does that mean you're upset with the numbers from 0 to 3?

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Attitude Jokes