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Attitude Jokes

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My five year plan? I don't even have a five minute plan.
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Attitude Jokes
If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA.
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Attitude Jokes Internet Jokes
If you weigh 99 pounds and eat 1 pound of nachos you will be 1% nachos!
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Attitude Jokes
If you find yourself in a hole. Stop digging.
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Attitude Jokes
I may not be the brightest nail in the bucket, but at least I have a point.
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Attitude Jokes
I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I'll start calling them traditions.
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Attitude Jokes
Want to dance? Or should I go to hеll again?
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Attitude Jokes
You know she loves you when she picks your nose. How much is determined by whether she gives it to you or eats it herself.
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Attitude Jokes
One day you're the best thing since sliced bread. The next, you're toast.
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Attitude Jokes
I thought I was just really tired but it's been 5 years so I guess this is how I look now.
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Attitude Jokes
People who make you feel special are keepers. Anyone with such good taste has to be admired.
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Attitude Jokes
I have a lot in common with my Velcro wallet. We're both simple and great at holding everything in.
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Attitude Jokes
Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine. That way she can't hit me with them.
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Attitude Jokes
Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off...
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Attitude Jokes
Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.
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Attitude Jokes
Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it.
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Attitude Jokes
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?
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Attitude Jokes
An asteroid 1,200 light years away has a 0.6% chance of colliding with the Earth, and you all just walking around like everything is fine.
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Attitude Jokes
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.
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Attitude Jokes
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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Attitude Jokes
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