Bar and Bartender Jokes

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a вееr.
The barman says,
"Sorry, but we don't serve beers to bears in this bar."
The bear bangs on the bar. The barman says,
"Sorry, but we don't serve beers to bears in this bar, especially not bears who ваng on bars."
The bear grabs a passing barmaid and bashes her. The barman says,
"Sorry, but we don't serve вееr to bears in this bar, especially not bears that ваng on bars and bash barmaids."
The bear bellows at the other barman to bring him a вееr. The barman says,
"Sorry, but we don't serve вееr to bears, especially bears that ваng on bars, bash barmaids and bellow at barmen."
In exasperation the bear bites the bar. The barman says,
"Sorry, but we don't serve bears that are on drugs."
"On drugs?" the bear says. The barman says,
"Yes. I saw that bar-bit-u-ate."
Bar and Bartender Jokes
A man walks into a bar…
The bartender asks “Why the long face?”
The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going to drink myself to death.”
The bartender looks shocked and says “I’m sorry I can’t help you кill yourself.”
The man asks “Well what would you do in my situation?”
The bartender puffs himself up a bit and says “If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself, I’d кill the guy.”
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts “That’s a great idea! Thanks!” and runs out of the bar.
A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous when the man walks back into the bar with a smile on his face.
“Did you кill the guy?” The bartender asks nervously.
“Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please.”
Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes
Men jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes