Blonde Jokes

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Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

What can save a dying blonde?
Hair transplants.

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Blonde Jokes

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were asked where they would like to go.
The brunette said she would like to go to Mars.
The redhead said she would like to go to Venus.
The blonde said she would like to go to the Sun.
"But you would burn up", said the brunette. "Well, I would go at night. Duh", said the blonde.

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said,
"I could never eat twelve!"

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Blonde Jokes

An old man asks a blond:
If a guy would try to rаре you, will you scream for help?
If he can’t manage me by himself off course!

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Q. What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A. Divorcee'

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Divorce Jokes BMW jokes

How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
Two.
One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the вlоw dryer!

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Blonde Jokes

Why does it work?
"Does 3 come before E, between M and W, or at the end?"
How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
Proofreading.
Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
To keep from bruising their ears.
Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
So she could keep the refrigerator cold.

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Blonde Jokes

One evening a blonde went to seafood restaurant for dinner. When she saw the tank where they kept the lobsters she asked a waiter, "Why are those creatures in that tank?"
"They are the lobsters we serve our customers!" answered the waiter.
"You mean you're going to кill them," said the blonde.
"Absolutely," said the waiter.
The blonde was so upset that she immediately left, drove to a nearby convenience store, purchased some hefty bags
And returned to the restaurant to accomplish her covert mission.
Taking pity on the poor creatures, she waited until the moment was right, and snatched all of the lobsters from the tank, threw them in the bag, and hightailed it out of the restaurant.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

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Blonde Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who was sniffing nutrasweet?She thought it was diet coke. Submitted by CurtisEdited by Yisman

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were stuck on an island 100 miles away from civilization.
The only way to get home was to swim.
The brunette swam 50 miles before drowning.
The redhead swam 64 miles before getting attacked by a shark.
The blonde went 99 miles but got tried a swam back to the island.

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes

How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
She can't find her pencil and her тамроn is behind her ear.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde approaches a stranger and asks what time it is. The stranger says,
"11:45." The blonde says,
"Really? That's so weird. Every time I ask that question, I get a different answer."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What do you call a skeleton in the closet?
The 1863 Blonde Hide-and-Seek champion!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde goes to her doctor and says that every time she drinks a coffee her eye hurts. The doctor prepared her a hot, fresh cup of coffee to see what really happens. She took a sip of the coffee and screamed, "Ouch, that hurts!" The doctor said,
"I know your problem." The blonde asked,
"Is it bad, doctor?" The doctor replied, "No, you just need to take your spoon out of your cup before you drink your coffee."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.

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Blonde Jokes

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, “meow”, the cop says, “oh, its only a cat”
He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, “woof, woof”. The cop says, “its only a dog”.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, “potato”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

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Blonde Jokes

Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds?
A. Because at 69 they вlоw a rod...

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Blonde Jokes