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Christmas Jokes

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Why does Santa use reindeer to pull his sleigh?
Because huskies can’t fly.

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Christmas Jokes

Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes in Christmas wrapping paper. When your child misbehaves, toss one into the fire.

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Christmas Jokes

How do we know Santa is a man?
No woman with an ounce of dignity would wear the same outfit for so many years running.

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Christmas Jokes

Never fight Santa Claus. He has a black belt.

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Christmas Jokes

Why do spies rarely enjoy the Christmas holidays?
They hate giving away their presence.

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Christmas Jokes

Where does Santa send the elves‘ wages?
To the snow bank.

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Christmas Jokes

Little girl wrote to Santa, asking him to give her a baby sister for Christmas.
Santa replied promptly, asking her to send her mother.

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Christmas Jokes

Fox News reported news of an unidentified flying object on Christmas Eve.
It was a U-F-hо-hо-hо.

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Christmas Jokes

Why should you never mess with Santa?
Because he’s got a black belt.

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Christmas Jokes

Where would Santa hide gifts for his elves?
In his clauset.

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Christmas Jokes

At Christmas, mother says to Little Johnny, "Go on and light up the Christmas tree Johnny.“
Johnny runs off happily and comes back after a while, asking, „Should I light up the candles, too“

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Christmas Jokes

Isn't it embarrassing how Santa ends up having the same wrapping paper like your mum and dad.

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Christmas Jokes

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies? Santa’s burps.
What is invisible and does NOT smell like milk and cookies? Santa’s farts.

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Christmas Jokes

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?
They both want tablets for Christmas.

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Christmas Jokes

If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas
Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty

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Christmas Jokes

I decided to get my girlfriend and her sister new jackets for Christmas
That is why I bought a pair of new gloves.

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Christmas Jokes

What am I not taking on Christmas this year?
Noels

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Christmas Jokes

My co-workers must be atheists because they hate when I greet them "Merry Christmas!"
It doesn't seem to matter whether I greet them from over or under the bathroom stall.

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Christmas Jokes

A guy wore a Hanukkah shirt to a Christmas party...
He was in the Menorah Tee.

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Christmas Jokes

What's the рiмр saying to his staff on Christmas?
Hoe, Ное, Ное!

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Christmas Jokes