Computer Jokes

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Computer Problem Report Form
1. Describe your problem:
- ________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
- ________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
- ________________________________________
- ________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on?
Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse?
Yes__
10. Have you read the manual?
Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual?
Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?
No__
13. Do you think you understood it?
Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? __________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line?
- ________________________________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
- ________________________________________
17. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.
- ________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?
Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel?
- ________________________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood.
- ________________________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me?
Yes__
Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1-week response time so that the problem will resolve its self or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue.
Computer Jokes
Computer Jokes
If Operating Systems Were Airlines
DOS Air: Passengers walk out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane,
Push it until it gets in the air, hop on, then jump off when it hits
The ground. They grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop
On, jump off...
Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants, and pilots all look the
Same, talk the same, and act the same. When you ask them questions
About the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need
To know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
Windows Airlines: The terminal is neat and clean, the attendants
Courteous, the pilots capable. The fleet of Lear jets the carrier
Operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushes above
The clouds and, at 20,000 feet, explodes without warning.
OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty - only a few prospective
Passengers mill about. The announcer says that a flight has just
Departed, although no planes appear to be on the runway. Airline
Personnel apologize profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing
From time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside. They tell each
Passenger how great the flight will be on these new jets and how much
Safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but they will have to wait a
Little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe
Until mid-2005. Maybe longer
Computer Jokes