Dad Jokes - Page 28

Son: dad dad a kid told me I am gay
Dad: well kick his ass
Son: oooh nooo he is so cute

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My 6yo son was in the garden looking at a couple pf spiders, when he said dad, Is that a mummylongleg under that daddylongleg. I looked at him and said, No son there's only daddylonglegs. I was feeling rather impressed that he was asking such intelligent question. When I saw him stomp on the spIders yelling "THERE WILL BE NONE OF THAT POOFTER SНIТ GOING ON IN OUR GARDEN"

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Dad Jokes

Kid: Mommy can I take a shower with you?
Mom: Fine. But don't look up and don't look down.
When there in the shower the kid looks up and says:
Kid: Mommy what are those?
Mom: These are the headlights.
Kid looks down and says:
Kid: What's that?
Mom: That's the garage.
The next day the kid takes a shower with his dad.
The kid looks down and says:
Kid: Whats that?
Dad: Thats the car.
The next day the kid goes into his parents room and says:
Kid: Mommy turn on the headlights, dady park the car in the garage.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

A little boy walks in on his parents having sеx, his dad says Jacob please leave me and mommy are trying to make you a brother or sister and, the child replies. Daddy do her doggy style I want puppies.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A kid walks in on his dad f*cking is mom, he goes into his grandmothers room, his dad walks in, "Son, what the hеll are you doing?!"
"You were f*cking my mom, now I'm f*cking yours!"

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Kids Jokes Dad Jokes

Dad:
- ”Excuse me waitress, I ordered this filet medium-rare and this is clearly a peanut butter and jelly”
Mom:
- ”Did you just call me waitress?”

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Dad Jokes

Girl:What's the price of this shirt .
Boy: 5 kisses .
Girl :What's the price of that dress .
Boy:10 kisses .
Girl: pack both of them dad will pay .
Boy : oh f*ck

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Dad Jokes

Little Jonny thought he was the only one who kept secrets, so he asked his teacher. She said that everyone, even adults had secrets. So Little Jonny went up to his mom and told her he knew here secret, she gave him 20$ and told him not to tell his father. So then Little Jonny went up to his dad, and told him he knew his secret, his dad paid him 50$ and told him not to tell his mother. Little Jonny loving this, he's making tons of money, then he goes outside. The first person he sees is the mailman, Little Jonny says I know your secret. Then the mailman says really!? Come here son!

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Money jokes Dad Jokes

A little boy went to a whоrе house and asked to buy a girl for the night but first he asked do any of them had a disease the woman behind the counter replied no and he said thats вullshiт my dad said amber has hеrреs she said I guess thats true he said well then good I'll take her last door on the right she replied the boy went to the room amber said why do you want me the boy said because then I'll get hеrреs and I'll have sеx with my babysitter because she likes little boys my dad will take her home and fuск her then he'll get hеrреs then he'll fuск my mom and get hеrреs then she'll fuск the mail man and he'll get hеrреs and hes the one who ran over my dog

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Son- dad you remember your first рussy liск?
Dad- yes
Son- what did the toungh feel like?
Dad- go fuск your self

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Dirty jokes Dad Jokes

Your momma is so fат that your dad has to climb 15 minutes just to give her a kiss.

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Dad Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo momma's so fат, your dad had to roll over twice before he could get off her.

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Dad Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Annoying guy: you failed
Me: your dad. Didn't when he left you and your mom

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Insult Jokes Dad Jokes

A tomato dad, mother, and son are walking in a street. The tomato son falls behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on him, and yells, "Ketchup!"

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Dad Jokes

When you and your momma had an argument, it was a battle of the wits. Nit versus Dim. Then your dad joined, and it was Nit versus Dim verses Half.

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Insult Jokes Dad Jokes

One day, little Suzie and her mom are walking down a beach when they see a couple having sеx. Little Suzie asks her mother, "What are they doing?" And her mother replies,
"They're baking a cake" so that she doesn't have to explain sеx to little Suzie.
Later that day, after mom has tucked little Suzie into bed, little Suzie's dad comes home. Mom and dad decide to have sеx on the couch.
The next morning, little Suzie goes up to mom and asks, "Mommy, were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"
Mom replies,
"Yes we were, Suzie. How did you know?"
Suzie replies,
"Cause I saw some icing on the couch."

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Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Girl: Daddy can I watch the T. V.
Dad: Sure but just don't turn it on.

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Dad Jokes

So, a kid happens to see his mom nакеd and asks, pointing to her vаginа, "What is that?" The mom replies,
"That is my house." She responds. A little while later the kid sees his dad nакеd and asks the same question. "Well, son, that is the Big Bad Wolf," responds the dad. Some time goes bye and the kid goes into his parents bedroom, while they are amidst sеx. "Hey mom," pipes the kid, "watch out! I think the Big Bad Wolf just walked into your house and shot the piggie!"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A blonde man marries his girlfriend who is also blonde. It's their first honeymoon night and the man doesn't quite know what to do. He calls his dad, who says,
"Son, you take the hardest thing you got and you put it where she goes to the bathroom." The newlywed thanks his father, hangs up the phone, and places his bowling ball in the toilet.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

A man comes home early from work and shouts, "Honey, I'm home!" No reply. So he goes upstairs and calls from the landing, "Honey, I am home," but still no reply. Frustrated, he goes into the bedroom and finds his wife on the bed, stark nакеd. "Oh Norman, I didn't expect you this early," she says, holding her chest and breathing heavily. He thinks she is having an heart attack and runs downstairs to ring for an ambulance. He starts dialing the emergency number when his young daughter starts pulling at his jacket. "Dad," she says. "Dad," she says again. "What is it? I'm busy," he says. "Uncle Jack is in the wardrobe with no clothes on," she tells him. He drops the phone and runs back to the bedroom. "You ваsтаrd, you f**king ваsтаrd," he shouts angrily at Norman. "You ваsтаrd! My wife is having a heart attack and you are going around scaring the kids!"

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Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes