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Dark Humor Jokes

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I refuse to go to the bathroom on an airplane because if I'm gonna die in a cartwheeling ball of flames, it is not gonna be in a flying outhouse with my pants around my ankles.
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Kickass if star wars is better then star Trek
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What's grosser than gross?
Giving your grandmother оrаl sеx. And then hitting your head on the coffin lid.
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Never tell your BFF that they're your BFF...
It leads to an awkward silence and then "ОМG! really?" And then "Well_______ is my BFF so sorry!" That's what my BFF did anyway, wait... Hey that somehow was all my imagination!!!!
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Imagine you are in a deserted island in the middle of nowhere. What do you do?
Stop imagining.
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Every year for my birthday, she would make me a birthday cake from scratch, and then she would let me liск the egg beaters. And then she would turn them on, and that would hurt my tongue.
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When the sisters fight, you know who won the fight because there'll be extensions all over the floor.
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They were tired because they had to go every day and clean up the grave, clean up condoms and вееr cans and bottles, needles, trash all over the place. That's what's so cool -- when you're getting kicked out for partying, and you've been dead since 1971.
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Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the drugs -- and I'm home schooling them.
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Let the batman go cuz batman returns .
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I miss New York. I miss the subways, believe it or not. So, what I do is I have a tape recording of just the sound of the subway, and every morning, I get up, I go into my closet, I close the door, I put the tape on, and I just hang there with my clothes for a while. Then I turn to my overcoat, and I go, 'No, you shut up, pal, alright?' Then I stab myself a few times, and I feel like I'm home.
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Kickass if you are sick of these роор and -Tucker jokes
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Q. Why did Barney explode?
A. Who f**king cares?
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Do u know what Helen kellers house looked like?
Neither did she
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Kid: Dear Santa send me a brother
Santa: Bring me your mother
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What would happen if samara
(from the ring) is coming out of
The t. V and you change the channel Before her whole body comes out?
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*watching t. V*
"Dominos made with real cheese"
Me:so wтf did y'all use before?
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Meek Mill's real name is Robert Williams and Rick Ross' real name is William Roberts. There's something up with that...
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How did hellen keller burn her face?
She answered a hot iron
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Why did the little girl drop her ice-cream?
She was stabbed
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