if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(Model.PrevPageFullUrl)) { } if (!string.IsNullOrEmpty(Model.NextPageFullUrl)) { } Dark Humor - Page 41

Dark Humor Jokes

Most popular in this category

I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying, every night millions of people go to bed hungry, and every day we bury perfectly good cuts of meat.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

The blind guy could'nt read. So on his birthday I surprised him with Reading glasses

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

The word 'spermicide' sounds like something sperms would do as a last resort. 'I'm not going out there anymore. I can't take it.'

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

I was reading in the celebrity obituary column. It said the Guinness Book of World Records' oldest living person had died. Carrie White died at the age of 118 years old. Last line of the obituary said, and I quote, 'Cause of death has not yet been determined.' Let me take a wild stab in the dark on this one -- probably not crib death.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

So when I get a phone call at the airport, I'll admit it, I like to have a little fun. 'Go ahead. Gate 47 is completely clear.' People notice in a hurry. 'Honey, something is going on. That guy has a wire hanging down, maybe we shouldn't be standing right here.'
'Stand down, blue team! Stand down, blue team!'
'Honey, there is a sting going down at the airport. I am not feeling safe. Please, let's move.'
'Stand down, down blue team! Don't -- hold on, the subject's approaching. He's in a business suit with a briefcase. I repeat, the briefcase is in his hand.' And I find some random businessman. I run, and I just beat the сrар out of him. And everybody starts clapping, 'Thank you for making our airways safe.' And then I go get on my plane, and that guy just has a weird story to tell for the rest of his life.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

I like elderly people, unless they brag about their age. 'Look at me. I'm 94 years old.'
'Well, good, that means you'll be passing away soon.'

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

Wife: Why did you come home so early today?
Husband: My boss told me to go to hеll.

1 0

Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

When I came home from work, my wife left a letter on the fridge. The note said,"It's not working. I can't do this anymore. I'm going to my mum's place."
I opened the fridge. The light came on. The вееr was cold … what the hеll was she on about?

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Let me tell you white girls something that sisters don't want you to know. You know what would кill a black woman? To get beat up by a white girl.

0 0

Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes

What does a вuм call a dumpster.
Bed and Breakfast.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

Look at the cloud there. It reminds me of my father calling me a failure.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

Man, no one can рiss you off like the one you love. You ever notice that? Oh, I love my girlfriend, but sometimes I want to grow old with her just to watch her die.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes

I was almost mugged, but luckily, I had picked up a book on self-defense. Well, I thought it was a book on self-defense, but it turned out to be the 'Kama Sutra,' which is like a lоvемакing book. Yeah, I didn't know that. Let me just say this -- that mugger didn't know what hit him.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

Listen up, girls
Here is a few tips for when you're texting guys:
1. Don't expect a reply every 5 minutes, the average Call of Duty game lasts around 10 minutes.
2. Try to keep the texts short, it gives us a chance to answer you during a кill cam.
3. Utilise nакеd pictures... guys LOVE nакеd pictures

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

You can't be gangster with astigmatism. And I love grimy music, but I can't be a тhug. What am I gonna do -- rob bookstores?

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

We're not lazy? We invented the drive-by shooting, ladies and gentlemen. We don't have the common decency to beat someone with a stick or our bare hands. We're gonna shoot them -- but guess what? We're not even gonna get out of the car and do it, for God's sake. We're not even gonna stop the car.

0 0

God Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

You have to field some tough questions when you're a parent, though. My kids came back from visiting my grandmother recently, and they're like, 'Dad, does Nana really have to die?' I'm like, 'Well, she did commit a capital сriме. Those are the rules.'

0 0

Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dad Jokes

I don't want to die before Will Smith 'cause then I miss that awesome 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' marathon.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

All he has to do is take that machine, hook it up to the Clapper, and let those people clap themselves to death. They clap on, but they don't clap off.

0 0

Dark Humor Jokes

What Can A Соw Do That A Woman Can't?
Stand Up To Her Тiтs In Water Without Getting Her Fаnny Wet!

0 0

Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Boob Jokes