A lot of things can кill you now. Ain't this ridiculous? Mosquitoes can кill you now. Do you know how mad I would be if I died from a mosquito bite? I'm a black man, grew up on the south side of Chicago. I've avoided drug dealers, gang bangers, sickle cell, high blood pressure, the police -- and now a mosquito gonna take me out? 0 0 0
I saw a sign on the side of the road the other day that said, 'Tiredness can кill.' I didn't know that. Last Saturday, I stayed up all night watching movies. I could have died. 0 0 0
He was a cop for 20 years, and he was always bragging:'You know, I was only shot in the arm once.' Well, according to my mom, she said, 'If I would've aimed better, I would have gotten him in the head, the son of a вiтсh.' 0 0 0
I think God made a mistake, though. He should have left us all with soft spots. Then we'd all be a little more vulnerable and maybe nicer to each other. You wouldn't be so quick to infringe in someone's freedom if they could just воinк ya and кill ya. 0 0 0
My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest. 0 0 0
Suскs when the sтuрid evil motherf*cker going over shiт for this site deletes your joke, barely giving it a chance. What an аsshоlе. 0 0 0
I think violence is wonderful, but what I object to in boxing is the total lack of explanation as to what happened between these guys to cause this fight to break out. 0 0 0
Mom:Were getting two dogs this weekend what would you like to call them Me:One and two because if one died you would still have two 0 0 0
I've got a friend who smokes five packs a day. He has to wear nicotine slacks. He says he's afraid to quit because he might get heavy. If he doesn't quit, there will be six friends going, 'Boy, he is heavy.' 0 0 0
To all the people who use the wrong variation of the word "your" or "you're" I hope you burn in Неll... 0 0 0
Girl 1#: every time you look in the mirror it breaks.Nerd: at least it bothers to show up for work.Need at least 10 kick ass 0 0 0
One time, I got beat up by a kid named Jesus. And when you're seven, you can't tell the difference between Jesus, typical Puerto Rican name in your neighborhood, and Jesus, the actual savior. So I was walking around all confused -- you know, guilty. What had I done that the Lord would send his only begotten son down to Brooklyn to kick my аss? 0 0 0
Half of the people that post on this website need to go back to school and learn how to f*cking spell ... "Yo Сunт Touch Dis ... Stop, Grammar Time" ... Kickass if you agree 0 0 0