Dirty jokes

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My girlfriend recently became a world famous роrn star.
She’s gonna be really angry when she finds out.

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Dirty jokes

So the diск looks at both of his ваlls and says guys there's a bangin party tonight and were gonna go so get ready to go in an hour, the ваlls tell the diск to fuск off we told u last time that we will never go out with u again. the diск says stop waisting time and get ready, the ваlls get рissеd and say look diск never again will we go with u cuz everytime we went anywhere u went in and left us outside hanging

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Dirty jokes

3 similarities between the World Cup and having sеx.
1. People take their shirts off and hug each other quite a lot.
2. Brazilians always look good.
3. You often see a lot of dribbling in the box.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Aughter:
"Mommy Mommy, This Kid Jeff Told Me To Climb The School Flag Pole And I Did And He Gave Me Five Dollars!"
:Mother:
"Sweetie, He Just Wanted To See Your Underwear"
The Next Day...
Aughter:
"Mommy Mommy, Jeff Told Me To Climb The Flag Pole, And I didn't Wear My Underwear..."
:Mom:
"....."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Sсrеwing someone from work is great unless you work in a primary school.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm like, 'You wastin' all this money on this woman. You can't touch her; you can't take her home -- what are you gettin' out of this?' So, he try to tell me, like it's logical:
'Well, for me, strippers -- they fulfill a fantasy.' So I asked him, 'Well, have you ever tried wavin' that same three, four hundred dollars in front of your own woman?' Oh, they quiet now. You put out $500, your girl gonna do some freaky things, trust me! Trust me! You won't even recognize her... Not only will you get a fantasy, you might get some groceries, too.

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Dirty jokes

I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm a voluptuous woman -- a big, beautiful woman -- I don't date no fат men. If you fат, please stay out of my face. What two fат people gonna do? Have a World Wrestling Federation match?

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Fat Jokes

According to stories told by both fans and Nintendo most would assume that Mario would get Peach and Luigi would get Daisy right? well weather you think that or not lets assume that that is what is happening in the mushroom kingdom. If that is what is going on then wouldn't you assume that Mario would have the privilege of eating Peach's fruit and Luigi would have the privilege of de-flowering Daisy?

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Dirty jokes

Surgeon:I'll er, I'll tell you something funny about Dr. Thomas, in his handwriting, the words tonsils and gеniтаls look exactly the same

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Dirty jokes

You're hotter than an anime chick.

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Dirty jokes

I've been on the road a long time. I haven't really had the chance to see my girlfriend. She called me up; she wanted us to have phone sеx. I'm not really into phone sеx, but to make her happy, we had the phone sеx. It was really nice -- until I got the receiver stuck in my вuтт.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I would like to have a word with you. The word is sеx.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
A nurse says:
"This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher says,
"We're going to have to do this over and over
Again until we get it right." An airline stewardess says,
"Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breath
Normally."

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School Jokes Dirty jokes

Ladies, we are not responsible for the size of our manhood; we got what God gave us. But every woman is responsible for the size of her vаginа.

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Jokes about Women God Jokes Dirty jokes

Girlfriend: Fapping is such a despicably behavior
Me: You know, if god didn't want us to fap, he would've made our hands smaller
Me: Why do you think the T-Rex was so angry all the time

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

Q. Why do women talk too much and men overthink everything?
A. Because women have 4 lips and men have 2 heads.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

DUDE your mom took a pic of my реnis last year to savor it and its still printing

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Dirty jokes

Dad: Son it's time for the sеx talk
Son: But dad...
Dad: No butts...
Dad: That is all.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like, 'Oh, we're not going to have sеx, but I'll give you a hand job.' I have hands. They have the job. The position is filled. I don't need to outsource the work, alright? If you got a vаginа job for me, we can talk 'cause I am always hiring.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes