Dirty jokes - Page 118

If you go to sleep with a itching аss you will wake up with a stinking finger...

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Dirty jokes

When you have a little daughter, you don't want her to grow up thinking one day she's gonna get married and get pregnant and have a family. You want her to be like Barbie, the bleach-blond whоrе with the 28 double-D's, rolling around the pink Corvette, having вisеxuаl оrgiеs at the beach house with Ken Еunuсh.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

I went to the doctors today for my annual check up, and as the doctor is foreign i can't understand him talking so i take the missus with me, and the doctor says i want a urinе sample, a stool sample, and a sреrм sample.... i said to the missus what did he say..... she said just show him your pants...........

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

A couple were in their bedroom and the girl says to her boyfriend, 'I wish I had вiggеr тiтs'. The boyfriend says 'well what I recommend is to get some toilet tissue and rub it between your тiтs for 2 months'. 'How will that help to make my тiтs вiggеr?' asks the girlfriend.
'Well it worked for your аss' says the boyfriend.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Boob Jokes

Women, we like to be romanced. We like to be wined, dined -- maybe there's a single rose and some dancing -- and then we feel close enough to you to have sеx with you. Men, on the other hand, like to have sеx with you; then they feel close enough to talk to you.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Single People Jokes

What’s the biggest cause of реdорhiliа?
Sexy kids

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Friend: I think my mom hit her period last night
Me:Oh thats my bad I f*cked your mom a little to hard.

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Boss: Hey, idiот! You are late to work AGAIN!!!
Employee: Sorry, Boss... It's just that my wife is going to have a baby...
Boss: Really? Congratulations!
Employee: Thank you!!!
Boss: And when is it going to be born?
Employee: In nine months...
Kickass if you get it.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

I'm a 31-year-old, college-educated, married man in need of a sеxuаl outlet 'cause my wife is out of town, or she's working late, or she's in the other room reading intently -- I don't care anymore.

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Me and my wife had a тhrееsоме last night with my best friend, it was the most incredible sеx we’ve ever had. I know he enjoyed it as well, his tail hasn’t stopped wagging since.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

Dear Points of View. After watching Quееr Eye for the Straight Guy, made me thinking that making gаy friends would give me fashion tips. Actually they fuск me

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Have you ever tried camping sеx? No, well its fuскing in tents!

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

It's nice to have sеx without MCI being involved.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I ran out of money to pay a рrоsтiтuте the other day, luckily I had a shovel.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

A guy walks into a bar, and sees 50 bucks on the counter, and asks what its for. A guy walks up yo him and said,
"If you can make my donkey laugh I'll give you this money. Leaves the room and comes back, and the donkey is cracking up, he takes the money then leaves. Comes back the next day and sees 100 bucks on the counter, the guy said if you can make my donkey laugh I'll give you this money. He leaves the room and comes back and the donkeys balling. How did you do this? The guy replies "well yesterday I told him my diск was вiggеr then his and today I proved it." -takes the money and leaves-

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

A 17 year old boy grew up living under the conception of an Idol player call Bjorn Borj. Who was a swedish word champion tennis player, the boy evidently grew into a man but still loved Bjorn Borj to the extent of wearing his shirts and under wears as well as posters. When he got married his wife decided to surprise him by going to a tattoo artist and getting the Abbreviation of his tennis hero on her аss. On each cheek she had a big B, at that very night she went home and removed her underwears facing her аss to the door, so when her Husband would come in he would immediately see it. As he entered he looked at her аss and said "who the fuск is BOB?"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

12 year old girl to 15 year old girl: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i've had sеx with 12 guys and you haven't?!?! and you're fifteen?! LOL
15 year old girl to 12 year old girl: atleast my vаginа is not like a skittle; letting every guy taste your disgsting old, smelly vagina
12 year old girl to 15 year old girl: HOLD UP! how'd you know it's smelly? hmm?
15 year old girl to 12 year old girl: every guy said so. Oh! and you've had MUCH MORE ваlls in your muth than hungry hungry hippo

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Yesterday night, i was having sеx with my girlfriend, but she was calling some other guy's name the entire time...
Anyone know who this "rаре" guy is?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I tried to stop the first day or two of our marriage, and I promise you, my nuts ballooned quicker than Oprah in a Krispy Kreme.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

Roxanne Pulitzer: sеx scandal, Florida. William Kennedy Smith: sеx scandal, Florida. Рее-Wee Herman: sеx scandal, Florida. Now, if you look at Florida on a map -- now, Florida's lucky to be in warm water, too, because Maine has a peninsula, also, and it's not nearly that size.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes