Dirty jokes

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By 'long term,' I mean you're having sеx with the same person twice a week with no соndом.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

If you're a white guy and you're sleeping with a black girl, there's only one way you know if you're putting it down like you should. Don't listen to 'Oh, you're the biggest. You're the best.' Don't listen to that -- she says that to everybody. Don't listen to that. The only way you know is, in the middle of sеx, she grabs the back of your head, looks you dead in the face, and calls you the n-word. When you can make her аss forget you're white, that's when you know you're putting it down.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Guy goes to a doctor complaining that he can't tell the difference between his рее and his еjасulате. Doctor says,
"Your problem is that you don't know if you're coming or going".

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

A white guy woke up in a cell with an Asian man and a black man. None of them had any idea what was going on. All of a sudden a mysterious man appears in front of them and says,
"If all of your diск lengths combined can reach exactly 1 foot, I'll let you all go. If not, I'll кill you all" All 3 men pulled down their pants and put their diскs together, the white guy had 4 inches, the black guy had 6 inches and the Asian guy had 2 inches. The man then let them go. As they were leaving the cell, the white guy said,
"You guys are lucky I'm white." The black said "No way! You guys are lucky I'm black!" And then the Asian guy yelled "You guys are lucky I had a воnеr!"

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Teacher: You have a D young man. What do u have to say for your self?
Me:I know I have a D, just ask your daughter.
Teacher: What!?!?
Me:What?

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

I couldn't believe he came out of the closet at the reunion. 'Cause that's not coming out of the closet anymore, that's coming out of the apartment.

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Dirty jokes

Roses are red. Nuts are round. Skirts go up. Раnтiеs go down. Belly to belly. Skin to skin. When it's stiff, stick it in

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Dirty jokes

Fisherman: I think i got it.
Other Fisherman: What did u get?
Fisherman: Its the МАSТЕRВАТЕ!

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Dirty jokes

I can bring you to a full boil!

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Dirty jokes

My wife loves to scream when having sеx.. especially after I walk in on her.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I tried to talk this girl into it. I was like, 'Hey girl, let's make one of those sеx tapes.' She’s like, 'That sounds good, Dave. We just got to get somebody else to play your part.'

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

The longer I let her
Harder the better
More blowing and funny
Equals more money
Where to get fed
In the couch or bed
Bed seems nice
Couch has mice
And they will bite
My diск is in fright
But it's already occupied So fuск off and die

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

One of the things I was worried about: moving in with my wife. I was worried that it wouldn't be as fun as living with my roommates because they used to play practical jokes on me. It was such a blast. But my wife is just as much fun. She has this great trick she plays on me: I come home, and she's in bed with this guy named Jeff. I assume he's an actor, just for the joke -- and it's great -- I come in, and she's like, 'Oh my God, you're home! What the hеll are you doing here?' And then I leave. She's so funny. You guys don't think she's cheating on me do you?

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God Jokes Dirty jokes

When I got married all my friends gave me grief about it. They're like, 'Man, you only get to have sеx with one woman for the rest of your life,' which that's turned out to be true. But one woman is actually a helluva lot better than the nobody I was working with before.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

A guy goes to see a doctor who asks him, "What seems to be the matter?"
The patient answers, "You have to promise not to laugh."
The doctor nods, and the patient pulls down his pants and reveals a very small реnis.
Holding back laughter, the doctor managed to ask, "What's the problem?"
The patient replied, "It's swollen."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.'

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Dirty jokes

I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me.

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Dirty jokes

Two guys sitting in a bar decide to tell each other what they bought their wives for xmas. 1st guy: I bought my wife a necklace and a diamond ring that way if she hates the necklace she can still wear the ring. 2nd guy: I bought my wife an imported gold ornament and a car that way if she doesn't like the ornament she still has the car. A drunк guy sitting next to them says "I bought my wife a t-shirt and a viвrатоr... that way if she doesn't like the t-shirt she can go fock herself

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Dirty jokes

My mission is to reach your core.

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Dirty jokes

I don't really think anybody gets off properly in 69. Matter of fact, I think 69 is rude. It's rude. It's like saying to someone, 'Listen, we're gonna have sеx, right? But we're gonna go Dutch.'

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes