Dirty jokes

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My daughter will turn 13 in the year 2001. I don't even want to know what kind of sеxuаl practices teenage kids are going to be into by the year 2001. With any luck, everything will be so polluted, she'll be wrapped head-to-toe in plastic and no one will be able to lay a hand on her -- but that's just a father's hope for the future.

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

Just got my ваlls out at the hospital but they have no idea what this red rash is. Hopefully the doctor will come and see me soon because the receptionist is useless.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dirty jokes

Who ya gonna call? How about me?

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Dirty jokes

Guess the words as fast as you can!
1. F_ _ k
2. Boo_s
3. P_n_s
4. D_ck
5. _ _ ndom
6. S_x
7. P_n_s
8. Pu_s_
Answers are:
1. Fork
2. Books
3. Pants
4. Duck
5. Random
6. Six
7. Pulse
8. Pants
Dirty freak.

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Dirty jokes

I like big girls because, no matter where you grab them, it feels like тiттiеs.

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Dirty jokes

I'm very lazy. I had kind of a lazy, do-nothing day today. I didn't get a lot done. But I did invent a new word -- that's something -- and the word is 'procrastorbate.' I think a lot of you have been there. I don't think I have to explain it. Basically, I don't know what you did or didn't do, but if you did them both: procrastorbating.

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Dirty jokes

What is the definition of disgusting?
Buying condoms from a secondhand shop.

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Dirty jokes

I Bet You Can't Guess These Words
1. F__k
2. P_n_s
3. S_x
4 . Pu_s_
5. Boo_s
6. __Ndom.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1= Fork
2= Pants
3= Six
4= Pulse
5= Boots
6= Random
Dirty minded

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Dirty jokes

Q - What's the name of a Muslim mother who loves suскing diск?
A - Yo momma Bin Slobbin'.

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Dirty jokes Yo Momma Jokes

My wife dresses up like a nurse; then, I dress up like a nurse, also. And then, we don't even have sеx, either -- we just sit behind this huge, semicircular wooden desk and get annoyed when people buzz us for juice.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I'm looking into a new health insurance plan. I thought, you know, I'm a woman, I should really ask if they cover abortions. Then I remembered I never have sеx. So, if I do get pregnant, I'd probably want to have the baby Jesus.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I don't see how sеx jokes are funny?
I mean сuм on people

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

My daughters just got to the age where she’s starting to ask awkward questions about sеx.
Then other day she asked “Is that the best you can do?”

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

This chick tried to get me fired today for giving her an inappropriate massage in the office. I said “Good luck with that sweetheart, I don’t even work here!”

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hеll do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a вlоw job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you... I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

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Money jokes Dirty jokes

We have this other friend, he's a homophobe. Now it's really weird 'cause the three of us, we can't hang out together. We can't be in the same room 'cause you know the homophobe's like, 'Hey, I'm not hanging out with him. He's going to try and have sеx with me.' Why would he want that? 'Because he's gаy and I'm a guy.' Dude, women don't want to f**k you. You don't appeal to heterosexuals. Now you think you're homolicious? What's wrong with you?

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

I don't know if you've ever been to Ireland. They are really the nicest people on the face of the earth. You do a show there, you walk into the pub in Ireland -- you have five best friends immediately. I walk into the bar, the first guy I see goes, 'Tell me something.' I'm like, 'Alright.' He goes, 'If you woke up in the morning and there were grass stains on your knees and a соndом hanging out of your вuтт, would you tell anyone?' I'm like, 'Nope. I don't think so. No.' He goes, 'Would you like to go camping with me, laddy?'

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Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

Dating is a lot like fishing.
They both leave your hands smelling of fish afterwards.

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Dirty jokes

Will you be my offline permalink?

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Dirty jokes

When I was younger, if a girlfriend was bothering a president, the CIA killed her.

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Dirty jokes