Dirty jokes

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A husband a wife lived very happily together. One day while the husband was at work, his friend came over. The wife opened the door and offered him some snacks. As they sat down on the table, the husband's friend notice how beautiful her воовs were.
"I would pay you 100 dollars to see one of your воовs" said the friend
The wife thought about it, she knew that her husband saw her воовs for free, yet here is someone willing to pay me.
"Yes ofcourse you can" said the wife.
She lifted her top, just so he could see one boob
"Dамn, you have amazing воовs, ill pay you another 100 dollars to see them both together" said the friend
The wife thought about it, she knew her husband saw both воовs for free every night, yet someone is willing to pay me.
"Ofcourse" she said
After the friend left, the wife quickly grabbed the 200 dollars she just earned. Suddenly her husband walks in the house unannounced.
"Hey did my friend stop by here?" the husband said
"Yes he did" said the wife
"Oh good, he also left the 200 dollars he owes me!" said the husband
Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes
A little boy named Charlie complains to his teacher, "I'm too smart for 1st grade!". The teacher then goes to the principal with Charlie. The principle first asks some questions:
3 x 3? 9
6 x 3? 18
6 squared? 36
The principal is impressed by Charlie's intelligence, and allows him to be in the 3rd grade. The teacher responds "HOLD THE DАМN PHONE!" and asks Charlie some questions.
What does a соw have 4 of that I only have 2?
Harry then says 'Legs'
What is in your pants that is not in mine?
'pockets'
What does a dog do that a man steps into?
'pants'
What goes in hard and comes out soft?
'bubble gum' (SHAME ON YOU!)
What does a man do standing up, a woman sitting down, and a dog on 3 legs?
'shake hands'
What word starts with F, has a U and C in it, and ends with a K that means heat and excitement?
'firetruck' (SHAME ON YOU!)
The Principal then says "fuск that, he can go to 5th grade, since I got the last 7 questions wrong.
(Shame on you!)
Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes
So while a wife was contributing to the preparation of dinner inside she was feeling a bit self conscious about her but getting larger. In an attempt to get some support she goes out to her husband who was cooking on the bbq and says,
"Honey do you think my аss is big?". He looks up and then back at his grilling and just chuckles and says,
" big! Its almost as big as this bbq." Totally hurt she goes back inside. After dinner and kids are in bed, the husband is feeling frisky and tries to rub up on momma. She of course gives him the cold shoulder due to his previous remarks. He scratches his head and attempts to rub up on her some more and she again gives him more cold shoulder. Finally he says,
"What gives?". She rolls over and says to him, "What makes you think I am going to fire up this big ol' bbq for just one little wееniе?"
Kids Jokes Dirty jokes