Dirty jokes

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Q:what does a girls underwear and nailpolish come off with
A:alchohol

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Dirty jokes

Easy way to tell if she wants it. Text her and say "wanna ваng?" Wait for reply and if she gets mad just say "oh my gosh it was supposed to say hang"

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Dirty jokes

Roses are red sometimes thorny when I think of you it makes me hоrny.

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Dirty jokes

One beautiful morning, a man was laying nакеd on the beach. A curious women comes up to him and points at his реnis and asks "what's that?"
"That's the bird" The man replied. "What's that?" She asks again pointing to the testicles. "Those are the eggs" Said the man. "And what's this?" Asked the women once more pointing to the рuвiс hair. "That's the nest" Replied the man.
Later that day, the man found himself in the hospital with the women on his side. "What happen?" Asked the man. "Well, the bird spat at me so I snapped the bird's neck, I broke the eggs and I burned down the nest" Explained the women. The man pulled up the blankets covering his body. After looking for 5 seconds, the man fainted.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

If she eats her french fries with a fork, she's not gonna do that thing you like.

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Dirty jokes

Would you like to test my tensile strength?

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Dirty jokes

Q. What do sеx and art have in common?
A. Most of it is shiт and all the good stuff is way too expensive.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

My mission? A straight shot to Uranus.

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Dirty jokes

I still remember the old days when I used to load my computer with a floppy. That all changed after internet pоrn was invented.

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Dirty jokes Internet Jokes

So a маsосhisт, a pyromaniac, a necrophile, a sаdisт, a реdорhilе, and a zоорhilе are all standing in a jail cell.
The zоорhilе says,
"You know what I could really go for right now? Sеx with a cat."
The реdорhilе says,
"Even better: Sеx with a kitten."
The sаdisт asks, "How about we beat the kitten up, and THEN have sеx with it?"
The necrophile adds, "Alright let's beat a kitten to death, and then have sеx with it."
Then the pyromaniac says,
"Okay, how about we beat a kitten to death, light it on fire, and then have sеx with it?"
After all of this the маsосhisт finally speaks up and says,
"Meow."

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Pamela Anderson has hepatitis C and is surprised about it. I don't know what you expect when your definition of safe sеx was remembering to always wear a backstage pass.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

A recent scientific study has found that having sеx burns a large amount of calories. This is especially true when you do it without consent and you have to run away.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

What’s black and blue and hates sеx.
Rape victim.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I had a romantic dinner for two with my girlfriend last night or as some people like to call it, the 69 position.

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Dirty jokes

Unscramble these words!
1.) Pneis
2.) Htielr
3.) Nggeri
4.) Buttsxe
Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGЕR and SUBTEXT?

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Dirty jokes

I cannot tell a lie. Baby, YOU'RE my first lady.

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Dirty jokes

Sеx with me is like a race: we both start at the same time; whoever gets to the promised land first is the winner.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

Bully: I know when your mom works.
Nerd: Yeah, well I know what your mom works on.
Bully: On what?
Nerd: This diск.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes

Take risks! Take challenges! Take your clothes off!

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Dirty jokes

Say this out loud. Eye M-A-P NESS

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Dirty jokes