Disability Jokes

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I got sacked from my job today for discrimination.
Apparently saying “Come on mate, I’m not paid enough to understand Morse code” is no way to speak to a customer who has a stammer.

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Disability Jokes

I used to date a blind chick.
It took me forever to get her husband’s voice right.

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Disability Jokes

How do you make a spastic walk?
Set fire to the wheelchair.

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Disability Jokes

King Сnuт was intensely disliked by his dyslexic brother.

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Disability Jokes

My disabled son wants to do a parachute jump for charity.
Thick сunт, you think he would have learned his lesson after the last time.

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Disability Jokes

What’s a riot?
Three dyslexics.

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Disability Jokes

I have two brothers, well three actually but one has learning difficulties, so he can’t count.

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Disability Jokes

What do you call two Thalidomide children with no arms or legs in the water? . . . . . . . SWIMMING TRUNKS … …
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs tanning on the beach? . . . . . . . SANDY …
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs between two slices of bread? . . . . . . . PATTY
What do you call a Thalidomide child with no arms or legs between two slices of bread with sauerkraut? . . . . . . . REUBEN

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Disability Jokes

I had a parcel delivered and it was covered in drool and crayon.
That’s the last time I pay for a special delivery.

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Disability Jokes

Why can’t dyslexics tell jokes?
They always punch up the ∫uckline.

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Disability Jokes

What do a мidgет and a dwarf have in common?
Very little.

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Disability Jokes

A blind guy visited his choir mistress at home and found her bathing. Since he was blind, she let him in.
After bathing, she came out nакеd, spread her legs and started shaving in front of him. She tried to make a conversation by asking him, “Brother John, what brings you here? Is everything OK at home?”
He replied, “Yes, very fine. I came to tell you that I have done the eye surgery and I can see very clearly now.”

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Disability Jokes

I love taking my blind daughter out for a drive.
Every time I hit a speed bump, I tell her it was a dog.

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Disability Jokes

To the disabled guy who stole my bag.
You can hide but you can’t run.

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Disability Jokes

I have OC/DC.
It’s just like OCD except it fuскing rocks.

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Disability Jokes

I went to see my psychiatrist today to tell him I’ve been hearing voices. He told me he wasn’t a psychiatrist and then he ran away.

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Disability Jokes

Most of the time a problem shared is a problem halved unless the problem happens to be Aids.

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Disability Jokes

Can’t believe how arrogant Stephen Hawking is. Got a message saying he needed a new wheelchair but every time I call him to arrange delivery it just goes through to his answerphone.

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Disability Jokes

If I had parkinson’s disease, I’d glue my hand to my соск!

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Disability Jokes

Why do deaf people watch TV late at night?
Because they can’t hear their alarm go off in the morning.

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Disability Jokes